Lying Larry Comic Strips - Page 15

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169 Results for Lying Larry

View 141 - 150 results for lying larry comic strips. Discover the best "Lying Larry" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 1998's comic on:


Tags #donate computer, #most insane, #not work on project, #manipulate

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Caption reads: Dogbert's First Law of Business. Dogbert says, "Reality is always controlled by the people who are most insane." Caption reads: Example. A co-worker enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Thanks for agreeing to work on my project." Dilbert turns and says, "I never agreed to work on your project." The co-worker raises her arm and yells, "You can't change your mind now! It's too late to get someone else!" Dilbert says, "Um...I'm not changing my mind. I clearly said I would NOT work on your project." The co-worker drops her papers and screams, "You lying weasel! I'll ruin you!!" Dilbert shouts, "Okay! Okay! I'll work on your project!" The same co-worker enters Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, thanks for agreeing to donate your computer to my project." Wally says, "What?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1997's comic on:


Tags #grunt grunt, #excellent conversationalist, #too perfect, #you've been coached

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Dilbert eats dinner with his nameless date. He says, "Grunt, gunt. You're right. Grunt." She says, "All you do is grunt and agree with me." She says, "I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it. You're an excellent conversationalist." Dilbert thinks, "It's a trap." Dilbert says, "Aw, shucks. I'm not excellent at anything." The date says, "You're too perfect! You've been coached!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 1997's comic on:


Tags #restaurant, #tipping waitress, #14 % tip, #service was excellent, #cheap, #lying, #unscrupulous weasel, #bad sevice

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Wally, Alice and Dilbert sit at a table in a restaurant. The waitress hands them the check and says, "Thank you. Please come again." The waitress thinks, "After I'm dead." Dilbert says, "If we each put in twelve dollars, that will give her a healthy fourteen percent tip." Wally says, "The service was excellent. I'll put in a little extra." Dilbert and Alice say, "Me too." Dilbert counts the money and says, "That gives us . . . Um . . . Only thirty-four dollars." Dilbert says, "One of us is a cheap, lying, unscrupulous weasel." They look at each other. Dilbert says, "Or maybe the service was bad." Wally says, "She didn't smile enough." Alice says, "Same as last week."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #window cubicle, #naps, #on walls head

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Catbert peers into Wally's cubicle and says, "Hey, Wally, I pulled some strings to get you moved to a window cubicle." Catbert continues, "It's for my own benefit. I plan to take naps while lying in the sun on top of your head." Catbert sleeps on Wally's head. Wally says, "Every day this job teaches me I can get used to anything."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 1996's comic on:


Tags #economic success, #stock price, #fire batch, #incompetence, #lying customers

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The Boss, Alice and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "You employees are the key to our economic success." The Boss explains, "Anytime we need a little stock-price boost, we just fire another batch of you. It's like printing money!" The Boss holds up a chart and says, "In fact, 'incompetence' has become our most profitable product." Alice says, "Wow. It beat out 'lying to customers.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 1996's comic on:


Tags #supreme ruler, #universe, #next movie, #the show, #embraced you, #befor ehsow, #no visible mouth

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Dogbert appears on the "Larry King Live" show. Dogbert says into the microphone, "Larry, I'm here to announce my candidacy for Supreme Ruler of the Universe." Larry says, "That's funny! Tell us about your next movie, Sharon." Dogbert replies, "I'm not Sharon Stone. I said that to get on the show." Larry says, "So . . . When I embraced you before the show . . ." Dogbert says, "I think we're both glad I have no visible mouth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 1996's comic on:


Tags #lying in sun spot, #net worth, #remains, #laughter

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Ratbert sits on a file cabinet while Dilbert works at his desk. Ratbert says, "Yesterday I was lying in a sun spot thinking about how you work, work, work but your net worth remains constant." Ratbert throws his head back and yells, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" Dilbert looks angry. Ratbert says, "Well . . . I guess you had to be there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1996's comic on:


Tags #such cubicle enviroment, #regular emplyees, #enjoy, #sharing cubicle, #co ops, #new co op, #lasted a day, #fit in

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The Boss walks down the hall with a new employee. The Boss says, "As a co-op employee, you can't expect the same lush cubicle environment that the regular employees enjoy." The Boss brings the man to a cubicle filled with people lying on top of each other. The Boss says, "You'll be sharing this cubicle with our other co-ops." Dilbert says to Alice, "I heard that the new co-op only lasted one day." Alice quips, "He didn't fit in."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 1996's comic on:


Tags #help shipping dept, #fiscal year, #no inventory

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The Boss, Alice and Dilbert stand next to the coffee machine. The Boss says, "I need everybody to help in the shipping department today." The Boss continues, "Every product that ships before the end of the month gets counted as revenue for the fiscal year. Unfortunately, we don't have inventory." Dilbert, Alice and Wally each have an open box in front of them. The Boss continues, "So we'll ship whatever is lying around, book it as revenue and sort it out later." Wally reaches into his mouth and says, "This one's getting gum."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 1995's comic on:


Tags #bob procurement, #duties are simple, #assume employees lie, #multimedia laptop, #demo labeler, #low cost substitutes, #savings, #accomplishments

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His boss in procurement explains to Bob the Dinosaur, "Your duties are simple. People will come to you and ask for things." Bob's boss continues, "Assume all employees are lying, treasure-hunting thieves. Give them low-cost substitutes and claim the savings on your accomplishments." An employee says to Bob, "I asked for a multimedia laptop PC. This is a 'Dymo' labeler." Bob responds, "Nice try, Paul, if that's your real name."