Disgruntled Underling Book Comic Strips - Page 15

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View 141 - 150 results for disgruntled underling book comic strips. Discover the best "Disgruntled Underling Book" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2006's comic on:


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I've written a future best-selling book. "It's part fake autobiography and part plagiarism." Moby Dog Publisher Pitch "You were a large white whale? Wow!" "Until I married Mary Magdalene."

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"Oprah invited me to appear on her show to talk about my book, but I'm too busy. Can you pretend you're me?" "Gosh...Normally I would never do something like that, but it's probably my only chance of being on Oprah. Thank you." "Ow! Ow! Ow!" "Oprah is a surprisingly good puncher."

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Share September 22, 2012's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #joking, #paperback, #spend free time, #fan of clutter

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Coworker: It was a great book. I'll loan you the paperback. Dilbert: Thanks. I love it when other people decide how I'll spend my free time. Coworker: I can't tell when you're kidding. Dilbert: Paperbacks are awesome. I'm a big fan of clutter.

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Share November 26, 2008's comic on:


Tags #coworkers, #beat up, #deal with difficult coworkers, #evil driector, #human resources, #business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Dilbert: Alice beat me up. You have to do something. Catbert: Here's a book on how to deal with difficult coworkers. Dilbert: This isn't quite what... Catbert: Try holding it in front of your face.

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Share December 26, 2008's comic on:


Tags #firings, #hell, #satan, #trip, #executive retreat, #downsize, #someplace warm, #pool

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The Boss says, "Carol, book an executive retreat so we can figure out which one of you to downsize." The Boss says, "Find us someplace warm." The Boss says, "Do you have a pool?" the devil says, "You could call it that."

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Share January 30, 2010's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #incompetent, #dogbert investment bank, #shareholder, #bribe, #merger, #unwise, #commission, #best seller, #read, #jail

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Dogbert says, "You're an incompetent CEO, but the Dogbert Investment Bank can help you pretend to unlock shareholder value." Dogbert says, "I'll arrange an unwise merger so you can cash out while I collect an obscene commission." Dogbert says, "It's like a bribe, but instead of going to jail, a stranger will write a bestselling book with your name on it." CEO says, "Can I read it?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2010's comic on:


Tags #book deal, #ghost writer, #dog, #publishing, #first draft, #quotes, #knife, #dying, #dead, #wave hand, #animals

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Dogbert Publishing Dogbert says, "I'm assigning a ghost writer to tighten up your first draft." Dogbert says, "Technically, he's not a ghost yet. He's just a guy who lost a knife fight." Asok says, "How long do I have to wait?" Dogbert says, "If you're in a hurry, steer him toward the window."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #budget, #cut backs, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Until the company returns to profitability I will only fly coach." Dogbert says, "I'll book three coach seats in a row so I can stretch out." Dogbert says, "One of you will be a Sherpa for my bedding." Dogbert says, "I'll bring my own air marshal to punch anyone who talks while I'm napping." Dogbert says, "And a videographer so I can see the playback when I wake up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2009's comic on:


Tags #scoffing, #dismissive, #ignoring, #practicing, #compliment

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The boss says, "Book some one-on-one meetings for me so I can practice my new dismissive scoffing sound." Dilbert says, "?And then I think we should?" The boss says, "Phhht!" Dilbert says, "I like what you've done with your dismissive scoffing sound." The boss says, "20% more spittle!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reading, #guide, #Advice, #guilt, #annoyed

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Asok says, "According to the book of Wally, I should use something called 'Preemptive guilt' to avoid work." Wally says, "Exactly. If you wait until after you get an assignment, it is already too late for guilt." Wally says, "Stress killed both of my parents. The doctors said they worked too hard."q