Email Two Copies Comic Strips - Page 15

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View 141 - 150 results for email two copies comic strips. Discover the best "Email Two Copies" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #capitalism, #electronic mail, #colorful opions, #email, #advertising plan, #discoverable record, #describing advertising, #pinocchio doing backstroke

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Boss: Please stop using email to express your colorful opinions of our marketing campaign. We don't need a discoverable record of you describing our advertising plan as "Pinocchio doing the backstroke in Satan's septic tank." Remember that capitalism without deniability is the same as poverty. Dilbert: Eh?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #correspondence, #unclear email, #unwillingness, #answer questions

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Boss: This isn't what I wanted. Dilbert: I know. But given your unclear email and your unwillingness to answer follow-up questions, I decided to do whatever entertained me. Boss: Do we have a problem here? Dilbert: No, this totally works for me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #didn't read, #email, #improve communication, #long rambling email, #someone else, #meeting, #business

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The Boss: Did everyone read about how to improve our communication? Dilbert: Was it a long rambling email that stumbled from one barely coherent point to another? The Boss: That one must have been from someone else. Dilbert: Good because I didn't read it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #300 iq, #immortality drug, #impossible requirements, #job interview, #nobel peace prize, #time machine, #too old, #two centuires, #unix

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Old Man;I have all of the job requirements you're looking for." "I have an I.Q. of 300 several nobel prizes, and two centuries of unix experience, thanks to the time machine and immortality drug I invented. Catbert: That's a lot of words for 'too old.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle, #envious, #two monitors, #one monitor, #twice the work

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Alice: You let Dilbert have two flat screen monitors in his cubicle. Alice: I'm not the least bit envious, but I should point out that a worker with two monitors should be able to do twice as much work. Alice: Did you know there are some advantages to having only one monitor?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #make copies, #mental task, #bloated cadaver, #staple or no, #asks secretary

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Asok: Our boss asked me to make some copies. But I fear doing such a menial task will brand me as unimportant." Asok: I was hoping you could make the copies for me since your career is already a bloated cadaver If I am reading your body language correctly, you are wondering 'staple or no staple?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #class, #less useless, #carry coffee cups, #work faster, #two hands

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Wally says, "I took a class to learn how to be less useless." Wally says, "Now I carry twice as many coffee cups wherever I go." Carol says, "Does that make you work faster?" Wally says, "I only have two hands."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director of human resources, #email, #funny videos, #angry, #yell, #mouth open, #privacy, #guess, #hurts

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "100% of your email messages this month involved links to funny videos." Wally says, "The company is violating my right to privacy! This is an outrage!" Catbert says, "Actually, I was just guessing." Wally says, "It still hurts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #email, #laptop, #boring, #time suck hole, #yell, #thorough, #play music, #business

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Dilbert says, "I hope you don't mind if I do email during the boring parts of your meeting." Dilbert says, "I don't want to be dragged into your time suck hole." Coworker says, "You are kind of a time suck hole." Man 2 says, "I'm thorough!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer monitors, #two, #king, #queen, #evil grin, #cubicle

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Dilbert says, "In the land of cubicles, the man with two monitors is king." Dilbert says, "I pity my uni-monitored subjects, but I cannot respect them." Meanwhile, in another corner of the kingdom? Alice says, "The king is dead. Long live the queen."