Good Hspae Comic Strips - Page 15

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View 141 - 150 results for good hspae comic strips. Discover the best "Good Hspae" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2005's comic on:


Tags #rated good, #you're not good, #company policy, #fire anyone, #hiring freeze, #get paid

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The Boss: "Wally, I'm rating you "good" but not because you are." "Company policy says I have to fire anyone rated lower than good, and the hiring freeze means it would shrink my empire." "So you can get paid for doing nothing as long as you don't kill anyone." wally: "I can't promise that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #dilbert.com, #owls for fuel, #new suv, #good idea, #start breeding owls

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The Boss: My new SUV uses owls for fuel. It seemed like a good idea but now I can't find enough owls. Carol: "You'll have to start your own owls." The boss: "That's what I figured." The Hilarious conclusion to this comic has been deemed offensive, If you must know how it ends, go to dilbert.com

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2005's comic on:


Tags #good advice, #balance, #personal life, #zen approach, #no freinds, #no work, #perfect balance, #zen, #faster

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Dilbert: "No one has any good advice on how I can balance my work with my personal life." Wally: "You didn't ask me." "I take the Zen approach of having no friends and doing no work. Hence, perfect balance." Dilbert: "Where did you get that definition of Zen?" wally: "I used to read, but it's faster to make up stuff."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2005's comic on:


Tags #good people quit, #wretched, #incompetent, #lazy

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wally: "Have you ever noticed all of the good people quit?" Dilbert: "There's no one left her bu wretched, incompetent, lazy miscreants" wally: "A-A-nyhoo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2005's comic on:


Tags #paying for consulting, #no recommendations, #feel secure, #shaping strategies, #hate you, #feel good

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"I keep paying you for consulting, but you never make any recommendations." "I'm what you call a "feel good."" "My job is to make you feel secure in the knowledge that someone brilliant is shaping your strategies." "This is weird; I hate you, but at the same time I feel good." "You're welcome."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2005's comic on:


Tags #good news, #Promotion, #you didn't get it, #misogyny, #screams

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The boss: I have good news about the promotion you wanted: You didn't get it! Alice: "HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY CALL THAT GOOD NEWS?" The boss: "They don't like positivity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2005's comic on:


Tags #good news, #bad news, #coporate marathon, #26 miles, #run marathon, #tomorrow

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I have some good news and some bad news. "The good news is that the company is going to sponsor a corporate marathon team." "The bad news is that one of you has to run 26 miles tomorrow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2005's comic on:


Tags #delete incriminating email, #witness to crime, #no good plan

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I need you to delete all of our incriminating e-mails before the court sees them. "That plan is no good because I'd be a witness to the crime...unless you had me killed." "Phase Two is none of your concern." "It has a phase???"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2005's comic on:


Tags #unpaid overtime, #death, #deny pleasures, #good night kiss, #this thing, #medical

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"You know what two things are very similar?" "Unpaid overtime and death. They both deny me the pleasures of being alive." "How about a good night kiss?" "Hey, you found a third thing!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2005's comic on:


Tags #happiness not realted, #level of wealth, #relative wealth, #good job

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"Research has shown that happiness is not related to one's absolute level of wealth." "What matters is one's relative wealth compared to other people." "So, if I do a good job, could you cut this guy's pay?"