Most Pretigious Comic Strips - Page 15

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View 141 - 150 results for most pretigious comic strips. Discover the best "Most Pretigious" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #opyomotrist, #nears sighted visonaries, #nerve expect worst, #charge price

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I've decided to become an optometrist for near-sighted visionaries. "They're ideal customers because they never expect the worst." "Which price am I most likely to charge you?" "The low one!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol got mba, #hard wirk, #rewarded, #pompous baboon, #sensitive way, #secretarial stigma, #wet caroets, #coffee, #fetch me one

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The boss and Carol are standing in front of Alice, Wally and Dilbert. The boss says, while pointing to Carol: "Congratulations to my secretary Carol for getting her MBA" The boss says to Carol: "At this company we believe hard work should be rewarded." The boss says to Carol: "The next time you fetch my coffee, get some coffee for yourself too!" Carol says to the boss: "You should be promoting me, you pompous baboon!" The boss says to Carol: "How can I explain this in the most sensitive way?" The boss says: "The secretarial stigma will cover you like a mountain of wet carpets until the day you die." The boss says to Carol, who looks furious: "I'm glad we had this talk. I think it helped." Alice and Wally are walking behind the boss and Alice says:"The next time you ask for coffee. We'd like to watch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #handpicked, #team, #no budget, #laziness, #least effirt, #yvonne, #hotness, #power over men, #manipulated by all, #good meeting, #business

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Dilbert: "I hand-picked you two for my team becasue we have no budget." "Wally, your laziness helps you accomplish the most work with the least effort. Yvonne, your hotness give syou the power to make men do what you want for nothing." "So, then Yvonne convinced me to do her work and Wally went on disability leave." Dogbert: "But otherwise, a good meeting?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo buzz, #hire a big name, #reputation, #toughness

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Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "You need to hire a big name CEO to get some buzz." "You want someone with a reputation for toughness, whoc kinows how toget the most out of people." "Come back later. I'm still getting the most out of this one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #the boss, #asok, #projects, #new, #challenge, #tina, #write, #newsletter, #worthless, #assistant

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I have completed all of my projects and I am ready for a new challenge. "You can help Tina write the department newsletter." "But the newsletter job is only given to the most worthless employee." "And her assistant."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I'm the editor of the department newsletter. That makes you my cub reporter. "Cub reporter??? I have an engineering degree from the India Institute of Technology - the most challenging university on the planet." "That'll come in handy during the copying phase. We get some fierce paper jams."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Here's a list of gifts I received on National Boss Day. "Sort them by dollar value and assign annual raises based on who gave the most." "Now I regret the Sculpture-o-Gum."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #faq for wedsite, #anticipate questions, #questionaire

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I hired Mr. Dogbert to write the F.A.Q. for our web site. "The key is to anticipate our customers' most likely questions." "Question 1: Where does your CEO live? I need to know so I can throw your cruddy project through his biggest window."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #desperate venture capitalist, #vjay, #business plan, #napkin, #lunch, #table, #break room, #money, #throws money

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Vijay, the World's Most Desperate Venture Capitalist "Does anyone need a napkin to write on?" "What are you thinking now? Could it be a business plan?" "TAKE MY MONEY!!! TAKE IT!!!" "He's nice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #desperate venture capitalist, #math grades, #first idea, #mezzanine funding, #cash bag, #students, #education

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Vijay, the World's Most Desperate Venture Capitalist "You two have good math grades." $ 8 "If you grow up and marry and produce a little engineer baby, I want to invest in its first idea." "Please don't be too late!" "Dude, we're already looking for mezzanine funding."