Most Pretigious Comic Strips - Page 15
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249 Results for Most Pretigious
View 141 - 150 results for most pretigious comic strips. Discover the best "Most Pretigious" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 03,
2004
Tags opyomotrist, nears sighted visonaries, nerve expect worst, charge price
Transcript
I've decided to become an optometrist for near-sighted visionaries. "They're ideal customers because they never expect the worst." "Which price am I most likely to charge you?" "The low one!"
Sunday December 05,
1999
Tags carol got mba, hard wirk, rewarded, pompous baboon, sensitive way, secretarial stigma, wet caroets, coffee, fetch me one
Transcript
The boss and Carol are standing in front of Alice, Wally and Dilbert. The boss says, while pointing to Carol: "Congratulations to my secretary Carol for getting her MBA" The boss says to Carol: "At this company we believe hard work should be rewarded." The boss says to Carol: "The next time you fetch my coffee, get some coffee for yourself too!" Carol says to the boss: "You should be promoting me, you pompous baboon!" The boss says to Carol: "How can I explain this in the most sensitive way?" The boss says: "The secretarial stigma will cover you like a mountain of wet carpets until the day you die." The boss says to Carol, who looks furious: "I'm glad we had this talk. I think it helped." Alice and Wally are walking behind the boss and Alice says:"The next time you ask for coffee. We'd like to watch."
Friday April 08,
2005
Tags handpicked, team, no budget, laziness, least effirt, yvonne, hotness, power over men, manipulated by all, good meeting, business
Transcript
Dilbert: "I hand-picked you two for my team becasue we have no budget." "Wally, your laziness helps you accomplish the most work with the least effort. Yvonne, your hotness give syou the power to make men do what you want for nothing." "So, then Yvonne convinced me to do her work and Wally went on disability leave." Dogbert: "But otherwise, a good meeting?"
Thursday June 23,
2005
Tags ceo buzz, hire a big name, reputation, toughness
Transcript
Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "You need to hire a big name CEO to get some buzz." "You want someone with a reputation for toughness, whoc kinows how toget the most out of people." "Come back later. I'm still getting the most out of this one."
Friday September 02,
2005
Tags employees, the boss, asok, projects, new, challenge, tina, write, newsletter, worthless, assistant
Transcript
I have completed all of my projects and I am ready for a new challenge. "You can help Tina write the department newsletter." "But the newsletter job is only given to the most worthless employee." "And her assistant."
Saturday September 03,
2005
Transcript
I'm the editor of the department newsletter. That makes you my cub reporter. "Cub reporter??? I have an engineering degree from the India Institute of Technology - the most challenging university on the planet." "That'll come in handy during the copying phase. We get some fierce paper jams."
Monday September 26,
2005
Thursday October 06,
2005
Tags faq for wedsite, anticipate questions, questionaire
Transcript
I hired Mr. Dogbert to write the F.A.Q. for our web site. "The key is to anticipate our customers' most likely questions." "Question 1: Where does your CEO live? I need to know so I can throw your cruddy project through his biggest window."
Friday December 16,
2005
Tags desperate venture capitalist, vjay, business plan, napkin, lunch, table, break room, money, throws money
Transcript
Vijay, the World's Most Desperate Venture Capitalist "Does anyone need a napkin to write on?" "What are you thinking now? Could it be a business plan?" "TAKE MY MONEY!!! TAKE IT!!!" "He's nice."
Saturday December 17,
2005
Tags desperate venture capitalist, math grades, first idea, mezzanine funding, cash bag, students, education
Transcript
Vijay, the World's Most Desperate Venture Capitalist "You two have good math grades." $ 8 "If you grow up and marry and produce a little engineer baby, I want to invest in its first idea." "Please don't be too late!" "Dude, we're already looking for mezzanine funding."