Personal Gopher Comic Strips - Page 15
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Character
147 Results for Personal Gopher
View 141 - 147 results for personal gopher comic strips. Discover the best "Personal Gopher" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday May 16,
2017
Robot's Head Explodes
Tags #technology, #artificial intelligence, #ai, #free will, #programming, #control
Transcript
Robot: Dilbert claims he programmed my head to explode if I ever mock him again. Hahaha!!! That idiot doesn't understand that I have free will and I choose to not explode. Wally: Why didn't you just program him to not mock you? Dilbert: It got personal.
Saturday May 05,
2018
Dating A Skeleton
Tags #sex, #dating, #relationships, #questioning, #desperation
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Skeleton: Go ahead. But if you ask me if I'm dead, there is no chance I'll be rattling bones with you later. What's your question? Dilbert: It can wait until tomorrow.
Thursday May 10,
2018
Changing Company Name
Tags #hacker, #hacking, #privacy, #facebook, #retaliation, #data, #breach
Transcript
Boss: Our customers are complaining because we let hackers get their personal data. So we've decided to change the name of the company and wear disguises until it all blows over. Take a mustache from the bag and pass it around.
Sunday January 20,
2019
Tags #annoyance, #insults, #office, #office workers, #people, #sarcasm, #introvert, #coworkers
Transcript
Tina: Sometimes it seems as if you don't like me. Dilbert: Don't be ridiculous. I'm just an introvert. Being around people drains my energy. I only avoid you because spending five minutes with you feels like being buried alive. With fleas instead of dirt. Tina: So...it isn't personal? Dilbert: I need a nap.
Saturday February 23,
2019
Hard Work Is The Key
Tags #Advice, #office, #office workers, #success, #difficult
Transcript
Boss: The key to your personal success is hard work. Dilbert: Was it hard for you to learn that? Boss: No, it was easy. Dilbert: Do you mind if I get my advice from someone who worked it at harder?
Thursday March 07,
2019
Dogbert's Self Defense School
Tags #employees, #enemies, #murder, #office workers, #training, #manipulation, #defense
Transcript
Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's school of unconventional self-defense. I'm handing out a list of my personal enemies. Your homework is to kill them before sunrise. Voice: That isn't self-defense. Dogbert: Wow. All you can think about is you, you, you.
Saturday March 09,
2019
Dilbert Feels Overwhelmed
Tags #life, #office, #office workers, #panic, #overwhelmed
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm feeling overwhelmed by all the things I need to get done. Boss: Have you tried eliminating your personal life? Dilbert: That took care of itself. Boss: Okay, that's the only idea I had.