Ruined Career Comic Strips - Page 15
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Your cousin Lauren just got her degree in English. Can you give her some career advice? "Would you enjoy scratching out a meager living in a frustrating work environment?" "I've never thought about it." "Obviously."
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. "I need help balancing my career with my personal life." "I recommend a book called "No one will ever love you." It'll crush your hope for a personal life and free up more time for work." "That sounds unhealthy." "Take a pill, crybaby."
"Our project scope has vastly expanded, so we'll all need to pull together as a team." "Is it too late for me to bail out before this project becomes a blight on my career?" "I already put the team photo on our coffee cups." "GAAA!!!"
"My side job as a cartoonist is doing well, so this is my resignation." "My new career involves sitting around in my pajamas and thinking of ways to ridicule you." "Actually, it's not so much a letter of resignation as it is a drawing of your body with a manure head."
Dilbert: One way to save the planet is to drive a fuel-efficient car. "Another way is to give bad advice to some idiot so he gets fired and no longer commutes." Dogbert: "You should get a license to sell real estate." "Really?"
Catbert: Evil director of human resources "I'd like to discuss my career plan." "The plan is that we'll keep you around until we find a starving Elbonian to do your job for less." "In other words, blah, blah, maybe someday you will get a promotion."
Boss: Did you ever think that getting that face tattoo might be a bad career move? Interviewee: No. Was there ever a time you thought overeating was a bad idea? Because people can see that. Boss: You don't interview well. Job interview
Dilbert: I found a backdoor into NASA's asteroid tracking satellite. I see that a big one is heading directly toward... Gaaaa!!! Dogbert: What? What? Dilbert: I must fill my final days with love. Dogbert: You ruined my ears, jerk!
Asok: Our boss asked me to make some copies. But I fear doing such a menial task will brand me as unimportant." Asok: I was hoping you could make the copies for me since your career is already a bloated cadaver If I am reading your body language correctly, you are wondering 'staple or no staple?'"
woman: Before I get too invested in this conversation, tell me what you do for a living. Dilbert: I'm one of three people my boss asked to do the same assignment because he deems all of us unreliable. woman: This is why I ask. Dilbert: The other two people are total losers.