Sales Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

191 Results for Sales

View 141 - 150 results for sales comic strips. Discover the best "Sales" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job, #interview, #disappointment, #humiliation, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "You survived the rigorous interview process, but there are no openings in engineering." Dogbert says, "However, I am prepared to offer you a position in sales." Dilbert says, "You mean a job?" Dogbert says, "No, just a position." Dilbert says, "This took and ugly turn."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #lying, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I'll be right back after I inoculate our CEO." The boss says, "If you ever decide to reduce our layers of management, Carl is worthless and he thinks your kids look like the director of sales." The boss thinks, "That should buy me a few months."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #assignment, #describing, #happy, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Ratbert you're my new VP of sales." Dogbert says, "Your job is to set impossible goals for the salespeople and punish them for failing." Ratbert says, "Yay! I always wanted to be a sadist!" Dogbert says, "Dreams do come true."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #confrontation, #hunchback, #deformed, #boss, #ridiculous, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert : VP of sales Ratbert says, "Humphrey, you're scaring all of our customers." Ratbert says, "Try to be less pitchforkable." Ratbert says, "Seriously. Can you do that?" Humphrey says, "Who wants a hug?!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #boss, #raising, #hands, #cruel, #threat, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: VP of sales Ratbert says, "I'm accompanying Humphrey on this sales call so he can learn from the master." Ratbert says, "I'll begin by giving you something, thus triggering your need to reciprocate." Ratbert says, "Who wants to hit Humphrey with a shovel?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #news, #deception, #evil

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Sales are tanking because our online reviews are awful." The boss says, "Cripple a feature and change the model number so the online reviews look stale." Dilbert says, "Wow. That was a lot of evil packed into one sentence." The boss says, "Thank you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product, #idea, #violence, #hitting, #war, #weapon

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Our product is so unsafe that the military wants to use it as a weapon." The boss says, "Now the only way to satisfy our fiduciary duty to stockholders is to foment war to boost our sales." Elbonian says, "Hey, why'd you punch a hole in my hat?!!" Alice says, "That's a little thing we call marketing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suggestion, #sitting, #typing, #annoyed, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Our VP of Sales asks that you answer customer questions through the sales reps, not directly." Dilbert says, "Is the goal to reduce the timeliness of my answers or just to filter out the accuracy?" The boss says, "Why are you like this?" DIlbert says, "Should I tell you or the sales reps?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trouble, #customer, #directions, #annoyed, #ashamed

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "Hey, engineer, can I ask you a question?" Dilbert says, "I'm not allowed to talk to customers. We believe that honesty impedes sales." Woman says, "I think you just impeded." Dilbert says, "Oops."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultant, #information, #credit, #managing, #costume, #confident, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Man says, "Consumer confidence is up, and that means more people will buy our products." Dogbert says, "I'm off to make random management changes so I can take credit for the improved economy." Dilbert says, "It's working?" The Boss says, "Sales are up!"