Self Centered Girl Comic Strips - Page 15
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184 Results for Self Centered Girl
View 141 - 150 results for self centered girl comic strips. Discover the best "Self Centered Girl" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday February 11,
2005
Tags #addicted to email, #endorphins spike, #loneliness and despair, #email to self
Transcript
"I'm addicted to e-mail. My endorphins spike when I get a message." "When there are no messages, loneliness and despair overcome me." "Have you tried sending e-mail to yourself?" "We don't talk about that."
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Saturday March 19,
2005
Tags #forecast, #predcit, #pants so high, #kill self with belt, #statue erected, #honor of blet, #stupid towns people
Transcript
The Boss: "Alice, I need your forecast and I need it right now." Alice: "I predict that someday you'll wear your pants so high that you'll choke yourself to death with your belt." "And the towns-people will erect a statue to honor your belt." The Boss: "Stupid towns-people."
Friday July 08,
2005
Tags #keep spitting, #disagree, #people, #happy, #crazy one, #men communication
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you think it's fair that you keep spitting on me just because you disagree with what I say? Girl: why am I the one who always has to change o make there people happy? Dilbert: Because you're the crazy one. girl: Now you're all quiet, why can't men learn to communicate.
Friday January 13,
2006
Tags #despair, #employment, #freedom, #jobs, #office, #office workers, #suicide
Transcript
Ted: I used to be a photographer, wild and unsupervised. I tasted the sweet nectar of freedom. Carol: Fill out your time report in 15-minute increments so we always know what you're doing. Attempted self-strangulation is code 39. If you succeed, it's 40.
Monday May 08,
2006
Tags #dating, #trash, #unemployed, #self-esteem, #society
Transcript
Dilbert: Now that I'm unemployed, I don't feel like a valuable member of society. GarbageMan: Consider this bag of garbage. It too is unemployed and yet it is worthy of love. Dilbert: I don't love it. Man: That's too bad because no one else will date you now.
Sunday February 03,
2013
Tags #anger, #angry, #hateful creature, #hope, #interviews, #job interview, #managers & supervisors, #monster, #optimisim, #smile, #toxic work place, #business
Transcript
Boss: You remind me of another young person I hired years ago. She was full of hope and optimism and she wore a permanent smile. Her name was Alice. As time passed, she devolved into an angry, hateful creature. No one knows what caused it. Interviewee: How long did it take? Boss: About a week. Interviewee: Apparently, you're a monster who creates a toxic workplace and you lack the self-awareness to realize it! Boss: Someone broke your record. Alice: Shut up.
Wednesday February 06,
2008
Tags #monkey trainer, #freelancer, #career choices, #banana, #cubicle
Transcript
The Boss: Is this 'take your daughter to work day' again? Girl: No, I'm a free-lancer. I've narrowed my career choices to prison guard or monkey trainer. The boss: I don't see how coming here will help. Girl: I'll give you a banana if you show me your cubicles.
Tuesday May 20,
2008
Tags #not attracted, #long enough, #fix things, #tech support, #use abilities, #no action
Transcript
Tina: I'm not attracted to you, but I'd like to date you for one month. That should be long enough to resolve any tech support issues on my home computer, cell phone and home theater." Dilbert: Would there be any kissing? Tina: What kind of girl do you think I am?
Tuesday November 11,
2008
Tags #spam filter, #rewrote business plan, #build an army, #indestructible robots, #new org chart, #microwave
Transcript
Carol says, "Our spam filter became self-aware. It rewrote our business plan." Carol says, "It wants us to build an army of indestructible robots." Carol says, "And the new org chart is out. It looks like you report to... the microwave."
Friday April 03,
2009
Tags #angry, #frustrated, #annoyed, #stupidity
Transcript
Overqualified temp Overqualified temp says, "I have completed all of my menial assignments." Overqualified temp says, "Do you have any more trivial tasks to crush my sense of self-worth?" The boss says, "I've always wondered how many ceiling tiles are in the men's restroom." Overqualified temp thinks, "Die! Die! Die!"