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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Until the company returns to profitability I will only fly coach." Dogbert says, "I'll book three coach seats in a row so I can stretch out." Dogbert says, "One of you will be a Sherpa for my bedding." Dogbert says, "I'll bring my own air marshal to punch anyone who talks while I'm napping." Dogbert says, "And a videographer so I can see the playback when I wake up."
Asok says, "I'm recalibrating my hopes and dreams to be consistent with the state of the economy." Asok says, "My new goal is to not be smothered to death by an old mattress that falls off a salvage truck." Asok says, "And I am saving money by drinking nothing but mugs of stale air." Wally says, "You're scaring my coffee!"
Dilbert says, "Our new data center is complete." Dilbert says, "The only wrinkle is that the power company won't give us the kilowatts we need." The boss says, "What are our options?" Dilbert says, "Well, we can run the servers without air conditioning." Dilbert says, "Until they melt into a toxic blob." Dilbert says, "Then we can turn the building into a museum that celebrates poor planning." Dilbert says, "Or we could all quit our jobs and eat bugs to survive." The boss says, "Let's go with the toxic blob, but we need to call it something else." Man says, "Convergence!"
Boss is stuck in the ductwork. Dilbert says, "The turbo blower kicks in after the lubricant cycle." Dilbert says, "We're sure he's already dead, right?" The Boss says, "Help!" Alice says, "Arguably, the real crime here would be building a machine this cool and not using it." The Boss says, "Can anyone hear me?"
Dilbert says, "Our device will create enough pressure to gently push our boss's carcass out of the ductwork." FOOM! Captain says, "This is Captain Sullenberger. Don't worry about the wing; I see a koi pond down there."
Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "So you accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty?" Dogbert says, "Her head is floating toward Cuba, and the president will probably order the air force to sink it." CEO says, "I should watch that from my private jet." Dogbert says, "FOCUS!"
Crime Scene Cleaning Dilbert says, "There's no budget for a mop or cleaning supplies." Dilbert says, "All I have is this pole and you." Ratbert says, "You could duct tape me to the pole." Dilbert says, "Yup. If we had duct tape."
Dilbert says, "I'd like to thank all of the people who helped design the technology test parameters." Dilbert says, "Thanks to your input, the test had nothing in common with how things work in the real world." Dilbert says, "So I wasted two weeks of my life on a test that is not only meaningless..." Dilbert says, "...But alos dangerously misleading." Dilbert says, "This slide shows the gap between the test results and reality." The Boss says, "We'll use the test results anyway because it's the only data we have." Dilbert says, "Fine. I hope you all choke to death on your lunches." The Boss says, "Why's he so cranky?" Wally says, "Something about data."
Coworker says, "Wally do you have a minute?" Wally says, "Nope I'm far too busy." Coworker says, "I'm blocking the only exit. You have no choice but to answer my question." Coworker says, "I blocked the air vent too." Wally says, "Well played."
Airport Security Man says, "Step over here, sleeper cell." Man says, "Our new pat down procedures might be more invasive than you're used to." Man says, "Only terrorists act nervous in these situations." Airport Security