Art Department Comic Strips - Page 15
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280 Results for Art Department
View 141 - 150 results for art department comic strips. Discover the best "Art Department" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 17,
2002
Tags the ceo visit, presentation, requires two people, impressive improvements, efficiency
Transcript
Headline: The CEO Visit. The Boss says to the CEO, "And now Dilbert and Alice will give you a presentation." The CEO responds, "I'm curious to hear why that requires two people." Dilbert and Alice simultaneously point to the same slide. Alice says, "Our department made impressive improvements in..." Dilbert finishes her sentence, "Efficiency!"
Saturday May 18,
2002
Tags the ceo visit, presentation, bloated department, eleiminate, budget meeting, marketing department
Transcript
Headline: The CEO Visit. The CEO says to The Boss, "Thanks for the presentation. Your department seems bloated." The CEO continues, "I'll eliminate half of your group in the next budget meeting." The Boss replies, "Thank you." Dilbert asks The Boss, "What are you going to do?" The Boss replies, "Nothing. I told him we're the marketing department."
Tuesday May 28,
2002
Tags downsized, no revenue, three months, fire billing, excellent performance
Transcript
The Boss says to Ted, "Ted, your performance is excellent but I have to downsize you." Ted asks, "Why?" The Boss replies, "Our billing system is so defective that we haven't made any revenue in three months." Ted asks, "Why don't you fire the billing department?" The Boss responds, "I did... three months ago."
Sunday June 23,
2002
Tags interview, long story, bank story, argued, admit mistake, landmark court case, bank claims, dumb guy, fit in
Transcript
The Boss is with another man and introduces him to Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to interview Matt for our department." Dilbert asks Matt, "There's a three-year gap in your work history. What were you doing?" Matt replies, "One day I was balancing my checkbook and noticed a bank error." Matt continues, "So I embarked on a three-year mission to make the bank admit its mistake!" Matt continues, "I worked the phones day and night, rarely eating or bathing." Matt continues, "Then came the sit-ins, the media frenzy and the landmark court case." Matt exclaims, "The bank claimed that seven minus four is three. And I'm like, 'Since when?'" After the interview, The Boss asks Dilbert, "Would he fit in?" Dilbert replies, "Unfortunately, yes."
Tuesday August 06,
2002
Tags three hole punch, waltzing in, borrowing things, whack list, demanding, in exchange for, hole punch
Transcript
An employee asks Carol, "May I use your three-hole punch?" Carol waves her hand and exclaims, "Whoa Whoa Whoa!" Carol says, "You can't come waltzing into this department, using our stuff and leaving your holes." The employee says, "I'll clean up the holes." Carol hands him a piece of paper, "I want you to whack the people on this list."
Wednesday October 16,
2002
Tags eat lunch, few typos, launch prodcut, new prodcut, other thing, marketing, business
Transcript
Wally is sleeping on his keyboard. His computer makes noises, "Click Click Send." Headline: Marketing. An employee in the marketing department says to his coworker, "Someone named Wally is telling us to launch the new product." The employee continues, "Or it might say to eat lunch with a penguin. It has a few typos." The coworker replies, "I already ate, so let's do the other thing."
Friday October 18,
2002
Tags latest assignment, impossible, slow speed of light, perfect art, human cloing, eliminate garvity, stop the sun, reanimate dead, impossible tasks, change the world, nature
Transcript
Dilbert hands a piece of paper to The Garbageman and asks, "Does my latest assignment look impossible?" The Garbageman reads the paper and replies, "Let's see... You'd need to slow the speed of light, and perfect the art of human cloning..." Dilbert asks, "So there's hope?" The Garbageman responds, "Eliminate gravity, stop the sun, reanimate the dead."
Monday November 18,
2002
Tags customers into sheep, device, buy whatever, free wool, marketing dept
Transcript
Dilbert is meeting with a coworker. The coworker says, "The marketing department wants you to build a device that turns customers into sheep." Dilbert asks, "Why? So they'll buy whatever we tell them to buy?" The coworker responds, "To be honest, we haven't given it much thought beyond free wool."
Sunday January 19,
2003
Tags despartment, normal scope, over loaded, flexible, client driven, outside of scope, avoid projects, cheerfully accept assignments
Transcript
A business associate asks The Boss, "Can your department do this for us?" The Boss responds, "No problem." The business associate says, "Really? It's outside of your normal scope of work and I know you're over-loaded." The Boss exclaims, "We're a flexible, client-driven organization!" Asok asks Wally, "Wally, how can I avoid projects that are outside of my scope of responsibility?" Wally responds, "Cheerfully accept the assignments and then never work on them." Wally continues, "It bolsters your claims of being overloaded while leaving you free for work that matters." Asok asks, "Work matters?" Wally replies, "Well, not to us." The Boss hands Asok an assignment and says, "I'm not even sure what they want." Asok responds, "I'll start ignoring it immediately."
Friday February 28,
2003
Tags big mouth, bloated, employee, taunting, toxic co worker
Transcript
Headline: The Toxic Co-worker. Toxic Tom approaches Alice and says, "You wouldn't believe what people are saying about you." Toxic Tom continues, "I tried to defend you. I said you look slow only because you're bloated." Toxic Tom continues, "But what ticks me off is that everyone in the department earns more than you do." Alice clenches her teeth and holds back her fist.

