Best Startegy Comic Strips - Page 15
311 Results for Best Startegy
View 141 - 150 results for best startegy comic strips. Discover the best "Best Startegy" comics from Dilbert.com.
"A business magazine is sending a reporter to interview me." "You?" "They want to learn my best management practices." "That's a little like milking a squirrel because you need butter." "I don't know what that meant, but I like the way it sounded." "Describe your typical day." "Well, let me tell you..." "Sometimes you milk the squirrel, and sometimes the squirrel milks you." "'He is like a zen master. His words are peppered with squirrel-related wisdom.'" THE TIMES
"Dilbert, meet Albert. He's old, but I like to call him experienced." "I'm trying to win an award for being one of the best places to work if you have one foot in the grave." "I'm only 54. I ran a marathon yesterday." "I asked the cafeteria to stock up on food that's easy to gum."
I'll ask the vendor for ballpark prices to see if the idea is feasible. "You can't talk with vendors until our change control board approves the project." "But that would require a cost-benefit analysis." "And I can't do that without ballpark prices from the vendor." "Just take your best guess." "So...I should make up a number so I can get approval to make a phone call and ask what the number should have been?" "Right. But first you need to get my approval to do the cost-benefit analysis." "Will you approve it?" "I'd have to see the numbers."
The Boss: Asok, your assignment is to buy a display case for our awards. Then go to the store and buy a bunch of awards because we don't have any. Asok: The next one is for 'Best Unethical Filling of an Awards Showcase.
Dogbert: I analyzed the DNA of all of your applicants to find the best fit for the job. The most qualified applicant who is willing to work for you has three ears, a snout, and a life expectancy of Thursday." The Boss: Dilbert, meet the new guy. And do it quickly." cough cough
"The best choice for employee of the month is..." "Congratulations to Alice for being our employee of the month!" "You get to use my parking spot near the entrance for the rest of the month." "I take public transit to work." "You also get to take the rest of today off." "It's already five o'clock, and you said I need to finish my project by tomorrow morning." "And you get to have pizza with me." "I'm on a @#$% low carb diet!!!" "I nailed it." PIZZA
Catbert: The new dress code is a thin film of oil. "We're consolidating offices and we need to fit twenty people in each cubicle." Dilbert: "They've pretty much given up on winning one of those awards for best places to work."
The Boss: Managing is a lot easier now that we've given up on winning one of those 'Best Places to Work' awards. Dilbert: "Do you have a minute?" The Boss: "Not for losers." "There was a time when I wouldn't have known how to handle that situation."
The Boss: "I called this meeting to discuss the changes to the pension plan." Alice: "We already saw the company-wide e-mail about the changes." Dilbert: "And we're all engineers, so we understand the details better than you do." Alice: "I'll bet you intend to waste our time by reading the e-mail to us." ask: "You can't stop yourself. it's some sort of compulsion." Alice: "If you read that e-mail, it's proof that something is wrong with your brain." The Boss: "Can't...resist...reading...e-mail." "GAAA!!!" Alice & Dilbert: "Best meeting ever."