Call Wife Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

592 Results for Call Wife

View 141 - 150 results for call wife comic strips. Discover the best "Call Wife" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #psychic ability, #flip coin, #called, #edge, #coincidence, #coin toss, #ratbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds a coin out in his hand. He says, "I will debunk your ludicrous claim of psychic ability with one hundred flips of this coin." Ratbert looks on. Dilbert flips the coin and says, "Call it." Ratbert trows out his hands and says, "Edge." The coin lands on its edge. Dilbert frowns and says, "That was just coincidence." Ratbert says, "I call edge for the next 99, too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coins flipped, #pstchic, #cincidences, #seven rotations, #inexplicable hovering, #hen noises

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert forwns and says, "Just because you guessed a hundred coin flips in a row doesn't mean you're psychic." Coincidences so happen." Dilbert flips the coin again, high in the air. Ratbert says, "I call seven rotations followed by inexplicable hovering and hen noises." The coin floats in mid-air. Dilbert points and says, "That is luck... luck, luck, luck, luck, luck!" Ratbert says, "Are we done now?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company, #knows about wally, #phone call logs, #web hits, #emails, #urine test, #college grades, #salary, #Family, #business, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert sits on Wally's desk holding some papers and says, "The company knows everything about you, Wally." Catbert looks in Wally's file and says, "We have logs of all you phone calls, web hits, and e-mail. We have your urine test, college grades, salary and family contacts..." Catbert says, "It's against our policy to kill employees and replace them with low paid impersonators, but I wanted you to know it's feasible."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #call back, #one hour, #time zone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is walking by the Boss's office. He hears the Boss say, "I'll call you back in one hour, Irene." The Boss says, "You're in a different time zone, so you'll get the call in... um... three hours." Dilbert stops to listen. The Boss's eyes bug out in confusion and he says, "Really? You're three hours ahead? Then that means... whoa!.. you're freaking me out here!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #personal habitat, #cubicle, #less cluttered, #personal storage unit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Wally, "Your cubicle has been replaced with a 'personal habitat.'" Dogbert stands on the cubicle desk and says, "It's exactly like your cubicle but much less cluttered." Wally holds the garbage can up and says, "Hey, all my stuff is in the trash can!" Dogbert says, "That's a funny thing to call your personal storage unit."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #less perfectionist, #apathy, #low standards, #positive traits, #intrapreneurial spirit

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sitting at his desk while Alice stands opposite him. The Boss says, "Alice, you'd get more accomplished if you were less of a perfectionist." The Boss continues, "I've asked Wally to work with you - to teach you how to be less perfect." Alice says to Wally, "When did apathy and low standards become positive traits?" Wally, while sitting, responds, "I call it intrapreneurial spirit."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pompous airbag, #deflate, #arrogance, #tricvia, #intelligence, #elbonia, #wet laundry, #chewy casserole

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands outside of a cubicle with a memo in hand and asks, "Are you the pompous airbag of the office?" Man in the cubicle answers, "Indeed." Dogbert says to the man, "I've been asked to deflate you." Dogbert continues, "My sources tell me that you combine arrogance with trivia and try to pass it off as intelligence." The man exclaims, "That's because I'm surrounded by fools who don't even know the capital of Elbonia!" Dogbert displays the memo to the man and says, " I have a signed statement from your wife..." Dogbert continues, "...that you put wet laundry in the oven last night." The man looks into his computer screen while thinking to himself, "That explains the chewy casserole she served me this morning."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer problems, #stupid software, #code rage, #throws computer

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice in her cubicle with frustrated look on her face shaking her computer says, "Stupid software! Won't compile, eh??" Asok the Intern walks past Alice's cubicle as she tosses the computer screen over her cubicle wall. Asok the Intern on floor. Policeman writes on notepad. Dilbert stares down at Asok the Intern. Policeman says to Dilbert, "We call it 'code rage.' I'm seeing a lot of it lately."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #top executives, #locked, #conference room, #starved to death, #call help, #phone, #trouble, #deciosns, #get outside line

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice peaks into Dilbert's cube while he is sitting at his computer terrminal and says, "I just heard that all our top executives got locked in a conference room and starved to death." Dilbert replies, "Why didn't they use the phone to call for help?" Caption: One week ago... Three executives sitting at a table staring at a phone. One, while holding a piece of paper, says, "It's agreed: We dial 83 to get an outside line." Another executive says, "Uh-oh. This one doesn't do decimals."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rat, #answers phone, #consulting compnay, #good pay, #investment banking, #phone call

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert walks by the phone as it rings. Ratbert answers the phone. Ratbert says, "Hello, I'm a rat." The voice on the other end of the phone says, "This is a consulting company. We'll pay you $200,000 per year to work for us." Ratbert says, "I'm more interested in investment banking." The voice says, "#*@ Job market."