Coffee Comic Strips - Page 15
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351 Results for Coffee
View 141 - 150 results for coffee comic strips. Discover the best "Coffee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 27,
2003
Tags customer diservice program, tech supprt, stretched telephone, cleansed online support, useful articles, support groups, train customers
Transcript
The Boss points to a slide of a man making a funny face and says, "We've expanded our customer disservice program." The Boss points to the next slide of a technician saying, "Uh.. reboot." The Boss continues, "...Doubled our unhelpful technical support advice." The next slide is of a customer leaning back with one hand on the phone and the other holding his stomach, saying, "So... hungry." The Boss continues, "... Stretched our telephone hold times to lethal durations..." Wally, Dilbert, and Alice listen as The Boss' voice continues, "... And cleansed our online support database of all useful articles." The Boss says, "Our goal is to force customers to form support groups." The Boss continues, "Over time, with luck, we'll train customers to do our manufacturing and shipping, too." Wally raises his hand and asks, "May I train a customer to do my job?" The Boss replies, "Sure." A little boy sits in front of a computer with a cup of coffee in his hand. He asks Wally, "So.. what do I do?" Wally responds, "You're doing it."
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Monday May 05,
2003
Tags new thoughts, head heavier, compensate, meeting, no goals, be on stamp, future golas, business
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Wally says, "I think my head is getting heavier from all the new thoughts." Wally continues, "I plan to compensate by propping it up with my arm during meetings." Dilbert says, "Some people think you have no goals." Wally responds, "Long term, I hope to be on a stamp."
Thursday June 19,
2003
Tags switch to decaf, secretly, office, employees sleeping, sleep on job
Transcript
Carol is sitting on a doctor's examination table. The doctor says, "Switch to decaf for a while. That should help." Back at the office, Alice holds bag of coffee in her hands and thinks, "I'll replace all the office coffee with decaf for my convenience." In the hallway, The Boss, Alice, and Dilbert are all asleep on the floor. Wally is slumped down; he thinks, "Must...find... antidote."
Wednesday June 25,
2003
Tags smell like manager, fiery concoction, agree with me, breath enhancer, around up cigarettes, farm shovels, coffee
Transcript
Dogbert is standing on The Boss' desk. He points to a bottle and says to The Boss, "A good manager needs to smell like a manager." Dogbert continues, "Your breath should be a fiery concoction that says, "Agree with me or die." Dogbert picks up the bottle and says, "Try 'Dogbert's Management Breath Enhancer.' made from ground-up cigarettes, farm shovels, and coffee."
Sunday June 29,
2003
Tags late worker, coffee and bagel, starts late, woman, worked 6am, paid same, smarter, casual brillaince
Transcript
Wally is walking past Alice's cubicle. Alice calls out, "You're coming to work at nine-thirty?" Alice walks over to Wally and says, "By the time you get your coffee and get your bagel, it'll be ten o'clock!" Alice continues, "I started at six! I've already worked for four hours, and I'll probably stay late!" Alice continues, "Over the course of a lifetime, I'll work twice as much as you!" Alice realizes, "But... we'll be paid the same... and we'll both die anyway." Alice continues, "So.. I guess what you're saying is that you're smarter than I am." Alice yells, "I curse the casual brilliance of your life strategy!!!" Wally walks away and thinks, "My bagel will be extra tasty today."
Friday July 11,
2003
Tags are years ago, this year, futire, free soft drinks, free coffee, bottled water
Transcript
Headline: A Few Years Ago. Catbert says, "The company will no longer provide free soft drinks." Headline: This Year. Catberrt says, "No more free coffee, and no more free bottled water." Headline: In the Future. Catbert is in a space suit. He says, "Don't swallow your saliva."
Wednesday October 15,
2003
Tags used coffee sirrer, watsebacket, not maid, laziness
Transcript
Carol: "Hey! You left a used coffee stirrer on the counter!!!" Wally: "The wastebasket was one foot away! I am an associate not your maid!!!" "Behold the power of laziness." Carol: "So, I'll throw it away for you THIS TIME."
Tuesday November 25,
2003
Tags replace myself, cheap elbonian labor, describe appearence, coffe mug
Transcript
Wally: I'm planning to replace myself with cheap Elbonian labor. Watch this: Turn around and try to describe my appearance. Dilbert: I see glasses...a coffee mug...and thats all, Wally: This will work.
Thursday May 27,
2004
Tags happy place, mind, pool of coffee, coffe cup, toilet, donut, escape, meeting escape, drift
Transcript
Wally: "I'll escape the horror of this meeting by taking my mind to a happy place." "Aaah... A pool of warm coffee, what could be better?"
Wednesday August 25,
2004
Tags greetings earthlings, planetary annihilation, break room, new coffee stirrers
Transcript
"Greetings, earthling. I bring you either wisdom or planetary annihilation. The choice is yours." "Stay in the break room. I'll go get my leader." "Very well." "The new coffee stirrers are great, but I got the last one."

