Customer Type Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

269 Results for Customer Type

View 141 - 150 results for customer type comic strips. Discover the best "Customer Type" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #target market, #one customer, #10 thousand units, #shop carefully

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Our target market is people who don't shop carefully." "Our product is designed to attack the user and force him to reorder." "We only have one customer but we've sold 10,000 units."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2004's comic on:


Tags #leadership meeting, #no pen, #no notes, #no decison, #no leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: This was a productive four hour leadership meeting, Id like one of you to type up your notes and send an email to the entire company. No one took notes? The Boss: I didn't have a pen. CEO: Okay no problem, does anyone remember what we decided? The Boss: We agreed to increase...something No, decrease something. CEO: Never mind. lets try it gain on thursday at 8AM Carol: When is the next leadership meeting? The Boss: I should have written that down.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2004's comic on:


Tags #science of fengshui, #technical merits, #witch doctor, #astrologer, #cutomer

View Transcript

Transcript

Visiting a customer "Our office was designed with the science of Feng Shui." "Should I describe the technical merits of our product or will you be consulting with a witch doctor?" "Oops. Sorry. That one snuck up on me." "He's an astrologer, not at witch doctor."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #customer visit, #zombie, #technical talk, #liberal arts major, #blue

View Transcript

Transcript

Customer Visit Dilbert: I can see form your zombie stare that you don't understand technical talk. Dilbert: Let me try iy in a language I call "liberal arts major" Dilbert: Its blue. Customer: It has a color??!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2004's comic on:


Tags #credit reporting company, #data, #death, #debilitating, #health problems, #low cost provider, #ruined lives, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Im starting a credit reporting company. I'll be the low cost provider because all of my data will be wrong, Dilbert: what will you do when people call and complain that you ruined their lives? Dogbert: I'll put them on hold until their frustration turn into debilitating health problems. Their last words will be AAAGH!!!! I only wanted to buy a minivan! Death will accomplish what customer service could not. Dilbert: Im just curious: Do you have nay qualms about your business plan? any at all? Dogbert: Im not sure. do qualms make you wag?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #become irreplaceable, #escaped felon, #gain trust, #biggest cutsomers

View Transcript

Transcript

Wall: "I need to become irreplaceable so I can't be fired for my behavior." "I'll gain the trust of our biggest customer so they'll only deal with me." "I probably shouldn't say this, but everyone in my company except me is an escaped felon."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 2004's comic on:


Tags #biggest customer, #key to learning, #fire, #trust anyone

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Wally, did you tell our biggest customer that everyone here except you is an escaped felon?" Wally: "Maybe." The Boss: "Now I can't fire you because they don't trust anyone else." wally: "The key learning here is that alleged crime doesn't pay." the boss; "I've never been caught!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2005's comic on:


Tags #erased data base, #laptop, #prototype, #blamed boss, #set up boss, #erased, #screamed

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "La-la-la-la-la... oops." "I inadvertently erased our entire customer database and all of the backups." "How can I explain this to our pointy-haired boss?" "Grab your laptop and follow me." "It's only a prototype. So whatever you do, don't touch anything." "GAAa!!! YOU ERASED THE CUSTOMER DATABASE!!" "ALL OF THE BACKUPS, TOO, YOU STUPID, STUPID #*@!*!" "I should've stopped before #*@!*!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2005's comic on:


Tags #bonus, #selling stuff, #customer, #can't pay, #sociopath

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Today I got a bonus for selling stuff to a customer who probably can't pay." Dogbert: "Does your soda taste any less delicious?" Dilbert: "No." Dogbert: "Congratulations, you're a sociopath." Dilbert: "It feels kinda good."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2005's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #online customer survey, #how happy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Tech Support: Please fill out the online customer satisfaction survey." "Um... But you haven't even tried to help me yet." "I like to base my help on how happy you expect to be."