Great Job Comic Strips - Page 15

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View 141 - 150 results for great job comic strips. Discover the best "Great Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #teller, #automated, #machine, #menus, #chinese language option

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Dilbert: Im getting performance anxiety at the automated teller machine. I feel the impatient glare of the stranger behind me. I try to prove competent by speeding through the menus. Good Lord, I hit the mandarin chinese language option. Oh no! I think I transferred my life savings to the "United way" Great...now his truck eyeballs are stuck to the back of my neck. This is exactly why I hate going to the automated teller. Dogbert: I think a little "visine" would make him slide right off. Dilbert: There was a time I could afford that...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 1994's comic on:


Tags #committed to buy, #cost justify, #ethical, #execuitve, #translate, #vendor, #weasel, #words

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Weasel: tell me about your project and I'll translate it into weasel words for the business case. Dilbert: well, and executive had lunch with a vendor and committed to buy some stuff that doesn't work. Our job is to cost - justify the decision. Wesel: I quit Dilbert: Don't get all ethical on us.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #vision thing, #boss, #visions, #donuts, #coffee, #big house, #servents, #over rated, #gardener, #everyone laid off

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The Boss: "As your leader it's my job to provide a vision." "But frankly, I'm not seeing anything." Wally: "Have another donut. Sometimes the sugar helps." The Boss: "It's working. I'm getting something, but it's fuzzy." Alice: "Quick! Try my coffee!" The boss: "Mmph!" "Oh yeah, there it is. Oh-oh-oh." "It looks like I'll be living in a big house with servants. And you'll all get laid off." Dilbert: "This vision thing is overrated." Wally: "So; do you have a gardener lined up yet?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 1994's comic on:


Tags #senior executive, #bad deciosn, #end careers, #challenging, #decison, #great idea, #mixed signals, #pull neckties, #hurts

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"If we know our senior executive is making a bad decision, shouldn't we tell her?" "Hmm, yes. Let's end our careers by challenging a decision that won't change. That's a great idea." "I'm getting mixed signals here." "And let's pull our neckties until it hurts!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 1994's comic on:


Tags #pretending, #personal lives, #interested, #management technique, #job satisfaction, #more money, #boost intangible benefits, #chisel away, #salaries, #families, #wife divorced, #job lowers self esteem, #attract mate, #said hello

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"Hi guys, how are your families?" "?" "?" "Why are you pretending to be interested in our personal lives?" "It's a management technique to increase your job satisfaction without giving you more money." "My plan is to boost your intangible benefits while continuing to chisel away at your salaries." "But enough about me...how are those families of yours?" "My wife divorced me because you make me work so many hours." "This job lowers my self-esteem too much to attract a mate." "Tell them I said 'hi'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 1994's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #project, #cooler, #acronym, #joke, #anticipated, #beginning, #binders, #fulfilling, #Dogbert, #job

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"I was just reading your project status report." "You say the project is delayed 'due to the ongoing bungling of a clueless, pointy-haired individual.'" "Instead of saying 'due to', it would read better as 'facilitated by'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #canceling project, #cooler acronym, #anticipated move, #carry empty binders, #less fullfilling

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"I'm cancelling your project so I can give your funding to a project that has a much cooler acronym." "Ha! The joke's on you! I anticipated this move from the beginning and have done nothing but carry empty binders for weeks!" "Being good at your job is less fulfilling than you might think, Dogbert."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 1994's comic on:


Tags #Promotion, #director, #engineering group, #assignment, #fire them all, #eliminate, #passing off, #dirty work, #promotion for nothing

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The Boss: "Wally, I'm promoting you to Director of the Engineering Quality Group!" Wally: "Yes!" "Wait a minute. I thought you were going to eliminate that group." The Boss: "Your assignment is to fire them all." Wally: "Aaagh! That will be hideous!" "And when I'm done you won't need a director. Then you'll fire me!" The Boss: "You have my word that I will not fire you." Dilbert: "Hi, guys." The Boss: "That would be a job for Executive Director Dilbert."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #video conference, #desktop, #telecommuting, #level of professionalism, #share document, #next time

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"This desktop video conference thing is great!" "Even though you're telecommuting, you still maintain a level of professionalism." "Let's share a document next time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #most talented, #technical professional, #Dogbert, #professional head hunter

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"Hello, this is Dogbert's professional headhunting service." "I find jobs for the most talented technical professionals. Several people mentioned your name." "So, is it true they'll be looking for somebody to fill your job soon? Hello?"