Kept The Thought Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

290 Results for Kept The Thought

View 141 - 150 results for kept the thought comic strips. Discover the best "Kept The Thought" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #off color email, #75 poeple, #thought funny, #one compalined, #punished, #sensible, #punish complainer

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: "I understand that you forwarded an off-color e-mail to many people." "Seventy-Five people thought it was funny but one person complained, so you must be punished." "Wouldn't it make more sense to punish the freak who complained?" "Do I look sensible?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advice for cousin, #carerradvice, #dilmon, #frustrated work environement, #scratch out meager living

View Transcript

Transcript

Your cousin Lauren just got her degree in English. Can you give her some career advice? "Would you enjoy scratching out a meager living in a frustrating work environment?" "I've never thought about it." "Obviously."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #liar, #habitual liar, #died, #feel great, #head is skull, #attached to body, #yoga

View Transcript

Transcript

The Habitual Liar Alice: "I thought you died." Liar: "No. I feel great!" Alice: "I'm sure you're dead. Your head is a skull." Liar : "I cut back on carbs." Alice: "Your head isnt' even attatched to your body." Liar"I take yoga."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hired a genius, #faking british accent, #ello bird, #sexy sounds

View Transcript

Transcript

"I thought I hired a genius." "But he turned out to be an ordinary guy faking a British accent." "'Ello, bird. 'Ow 'bout a spot o' tea? Whot do you say, gov'nor?" "Who's making those sexy sounds?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #easy news cahnnel, #easy to gather, #countries want to kill u.s., #no phones, #two middle aged white guys, #they hate us, #we are wonderful, #buy book

View Transcript

Transcript

"Good evening. This is the Dogbert Easy News Channel." "We bring you all the news that's easy to gather." "Today's top story is about something that was first reported in a newspaper and later read by me." "People in other countries want to kill us. The rest of the article is mostly names I can't pronounce." "We thought about asking them why they want to kill us, but they don't have phones." "So here's the next best thing: a debate between two middle-aged white guys who also don't know why people want to kill us." "They hate us because we are so wonderful." "Buy my book or you will all die!" "Next on Easy News, our panelists wll discuss dumb crooks who keep getting stuck in chimneys." "Excellent."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"The trouble started when you insisted on giving inspirational names to the conference rooms." "I scheduled a project meeting for the 'Quality' room and no one knew where to go." "Some people ended up in the 'Teamwork' room while others went to the 'Excellence' room." "By the time we sorted it all out, someone else was scheduled to use our conference room." "Then it took three weeks to schedule another meeting when everyone could make it." "But half of the team went to the 'Action' room and sat there while we waited for them in the 'Good Planning' room." "I thought this was the budget meeting."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career criminal, #appkying, #job, #tendonitis, #pistol whipping arm, #slower paced, #lifel, #embezzle, #job security, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Your resume says you're a career criminal. "Yup." "Um...why are you applying for a job here?" "I'm getting tendonitis in my pistol-whipping arm." "I thought I'd try the slower paced life of white collar crime." "Security." "How much can I expect to embezzle in my first year?" "Earl?" "Lefty!" "Forget this job. Security is where the big money is." "Can you get me in?" "I should start locking my desk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hi, handsome. Are you free for lunch?" "Are you selling something, or do you have a horrible defect that isn't apparent?" "Is it so hard to believe that a hot, intelligent, sane woman would be attracted to a man like you?" "Gaaa!!! It's worse than I thought!" "Maybe we could just drink coffee and talk about the last episode of Battlestar Galactica." "GAAA!!!" "Get away from me, you perfect monster!" "There must be a guy in the engineering department who will date me." "Hi." "What's wrong with you?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

There's no good way to assign a bad project. FWAP! "Do it!" "That was a liberating thought."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

The Land of Unrealistic Business Assumptions $ GOLD (Take Some) "Suddenly I feel as if anything is possible." "Hello! We're the consumers who have extraordinarily bad judgment!" "I need more than three of you." "The hole's a thousand miles deep. The others thought it would be a good idea to come early." "Ow! Ow!"