Low Standard Comic Strips - Page 15

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208 Results for Low Standard

View 141 - 150 results for low standard comic strips. Discover the best "Low Standard" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #air travel, #cash payment, #college freind, #cost & standard of living, #expensive, #friendship, #relationships

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Tina says, "My best friend from college keeps bugging me to visit her. The flight will cost a small fortune." Dilbert says, "Try offering her a cash payment of half the estimated cost of the trip if she agrees to stop inviting you." Tina says, "You don't have any friends, do you?" Dilbert says, "I hear they're expensive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hold press conference, #introduce cold fusion, #breakthrough, #lightbulb, #wires plugged, #low opinion, #jar with frosted glass, #overkill

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Dogbert says, "I'm ready to hold a press conference to introduce my cold fusion breakthrough." Dilbert says, "All you did is put a lightbulb in a jar. I can see the wires plugged into the outlet." Dilbert says, "You have a low opinion of people." Dogbert says, "I considered using a jar with frosted glass, but it seemed like overkill."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #couples, #dating, #mobile (cell) phones, #ex boyfreind, #entertainment stabdard, #samrtphone, #smartphone scale, #lying larry, #relationships

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Woman: I used to compare all men to my ex-boyfriend. Now I compare all men to the entertainment standard of my smartphone. Dilbert: I only scored a two on the smartphone scale, but I was a solid five compared to someone named "lying Larry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #despair, #recessions, #unemployment, #fix your lips, #job satisfaction, #all time low

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Catbert: Oh no! Employee job satisfaction is at an all-time low at the same time unemployment is high! Boss: Ha ha! Good one. Now it's my turn to try saying it as if I care! Oh no! Catbert: Ha ha! Fix your lips!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #electronic mail, #answer email, #signal to noise, #technical problem

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Boss: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I tried to read it but the signal-to-noise ratio was too low. Boss: So it's sort of a technical problem? Dilbert: Okay.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #correspondence, #electronic mail, #genius, #unfinished product, #writing, #hallmark of genius, #unexpected use of time

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Boss: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I tried to read it but the signal-to-noise ratio was too low. Boss: So it's sort of a technical problem? Dilbert: Okay.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #public speaking, #let slide, #power point, #presentation, #bored, #sleeping audience, #low expectations

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Dilbert: And that's my last slide, any comments? Woman: You stole an hour of my life, something inside me died. I will never have another good day. Dilbert: I went in with low expectations. Wally: They can't hurt you if you're already dead.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #secondhand sales, #tablet computer, #business, #design logo, #pay another company, #other companies, #watch, #engineers, #degrade, #low morale

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Boss: We're going into the tablet computer business. And by that I mean other companies will make the product and we'll design the logo. And by that I mean we'll pay another company to design the logo for us. Alice: Can we watch?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #cost & standard of living, #green goals, #recycling bins, #company documents, #corporate secuirty, #blue recycling bins, #same policies

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Boss: To reach our green goals, employees must always use the blue recycling bins for company documents. To satisfy our corporate security guidelines, never put company documents in the blue recycling bins. Dilbert: You read those same policies to us last week. Boss: I don't know how to get rid of them.