Math Trick Comic Strips - Page 15
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View 141 - 150 results for math trick comic strips. Discover the best "Math Trick" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dilbert: I created a simulated world made entirely of software. I programmed all of the people in the simulation to think they are real people with free will. Dogbert: Are they sentient beings? Dilbert: They think they are. Dogbert: What if they discover their true nature? Dilbert: I programmed limits into their physics so they can never observe the walls of their reality. For example, they can't get to the edge of their universe because they can't exceed the speed of light. And they can't find out what they are made of because, to them, it looks like probability at the quantum level. Dogbert: Wouldn't those limits tip of the smart ones? Dilbert: I coded them to not trust smart people.
Boss: We won a government contract to measure ocean temperatures. Dilbert: Which part of the ocean? Boss: The whole ocean. Dilbert: We can't put sensors everywhere in the ocean. It's too big. Boss: We can measure a bunch of places and estimate the rest. Dilbert: So...you want me to measure 1% of the ocean's temperature and estimate the other 99%? I don't know how to do that. Boss: Try using math. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be cheaper to measure nothing and just estimate the whole thing? Boss: Every now and then you come up with a great idea.
Wally: I've decided to adopt a kid from Elbonia so I'll have better excuses for missing work. Dilbert: Your plan is immoral, uncaring, and socially irresponsible. Wally: And brilliant. Dilbert: No one is saying it won't work.
boss: i heard you asked our v.p. of operations to be your mentor. why didn't you tell me you needed some mentoring? i'm full of useful advice. dilbert: such as? boss: well... not you're putting me on the spot. it's hard to think of advice while you're pressuring me. maybe you could give me a scenario, and then i'll tell you what to do. dilbert: okay, suppose my boss is ruining my productivity by yammering about his great advice. what can i do? boss: that feels like a trick question. dilbert: our v.p. of operations could answer it.
CEO: Why is everyone so panicked about coronavirus when maybe only 1% who get it will die? Catbert: One percent of the population of Earth would be...77 million dead. CEO: Yes, but the whole world won't get it. Catbert: They will if they listen to you.
Boss: I have a great idea. Let's create a google document that we can all update. Dilbert: That is exactly the idea I suggested to you yesterday. Boss: You can't prove that. Dilbert: That was only true until I learned to wear a wire.
boss: how confident are you in your analysis? dilbert: very confident. boss: good. dilbert: unless i used the wrong discount rate, which is hard to know. boss: but otherwise, it's solid? dilbert: except for the installation and maintenance costs, which are wild guesses. and we don't know if we sized the project right, so costs could be double or triple. boss: it sounds as if you applied math to a bunch of wild guesses. dilbert: yes, but i got the result you wanted. boss: next time, just say that.
catbert: we added the following trick question to our interview process... do black lives matter? interviewee: yes, of course. catbert: say more about that. interviewee: i think all... catbert yelling and pointing: dismissed!
tina: i'll be in your neighborhood saturday, maybe i'll stop by. dilbert: i'm not falling for that trick. tina: what trick? dilbert: the trick where you give me an estimated time and then push it back seven times until you cancel. i'll be stuck waiting at home until my whole day is wasted. tina: i promise i won't do that. i'll stick to the time. dilbert: what time is that? tina: depends how my day goes. dilbert thinking: and so it begins. tina: i'll text you if i'm running late.