Minute To Cool Comic Strips - Page 15

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184 Results for Minute To Cool

View 141 - 150 results for minute to cool comic strips. Discover the best "Minute To Cool" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dog, #facebook, #facebook page, #internet & world wide web, #linkedin, #stocks, #twitter, #websites, #work ethic, #working from home, #distractions, #animals

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Dilbert: I'm working at home today. It will be as if we're co-workers. Dogbert: Ugh. This madness must stop! You should check your Facebook page to see what's new. You should check Twitter. Dilbert: I'm almost finished with Facebook. Dogbert: Did you get my LinkedIn request? Dilbert: I'll check. Dogbert: I send you some links to funny websites. Dilbert: Cool! I just spent ten hours at my computer and I can't remember why I was sitting there in the first place. Dogbert: You were going to check your stocks. Dilbert: Okay. That sounds right. Two Hours Later. Two Hours Later. Two Hours Later.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #punishment & torture, #punishment devices, #surveillance, #waterboard, #enjoy it, #not touched alot, #creepy, #turture techniques

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Abducted by the government NSA Agent: We're going to waterboard you now. Dilbert: Really? Cool. I don't get touched a lot, so I think I'll enjoy it. Is that all the water you brought? NSA Agent: Okay, this got creepy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #new philosophy, #live for today, #motto, #avoid starving tomorrow, #ruin every minute, #living in past, #gustave, #traded beaver pelts, #psychology

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Asok: I'm trying out a new philosophy for my life. My new motto is "Live for Today." Wally: If you live for today, how will you avoid starving tomorrow? If you do one little thing wrong today, it could ruin every minute of the rest of your life. Asok: So... I should live for the future. Wally: No, that would ruin today. I recommend living for the past. Asok: My past was no fun. Wally: Pretend you were someone else. Asok: My philosophy is that my name was Gustav and I traded beaver pelts. Dilbert: Stop ruining my present.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #thinking, #objection to plan, #potential problems, #works fine, #system used, #non zero chance, #get rid of hospitals, #idiot, #normal life

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Dilbert: Does anyone have an objection to this plan? Coworker: In my opinion, there are too many potential problems. Dilbert: This system has been used for years in other places and works fine. Coworker: There is still a non-zero chance of problems. Dilbert: By that logic, we should get rid of hospitals because sometimes they make mistakes. Coworker: Gaaa!!! I just realized I'm an idiot! Dilbert: You can still lead a normal life. Wally: It only stings for a minute.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #brain wash, #company profits, #more imprtant, #employers engagement, #12 hour days, #work for money

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Catbert: I'm going to brainwash you to believe company profits are more important than your health. It's called "employee engagement," and it will make you work 12-hour days while thinking you enjoy every minute of it. Dilbert: Can I just work for money? Catbert: Why are you being a jerk about this?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #origin story, #company, #need, #various things, #clear, #boss, #request, #office, #request secretary, #write up story, #business

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Boss; Tina, I need you to write a company "Origin Story." All the cool companies have them. Tina: Why? Boss: Why? Well, for starters, we need it for various things and so on. I don't think I can be any clearer. Tina: I don't think you can, either.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gadgets, #wearable tech prodcuts, #looking cool, #feeling cool, #hit clubs, #early adopter problem

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Boss: We're having an early adopter problem with our wearable tech products. CEO: No one wants to go first? Boss: I wish we had that problem. Dilbert: I wonder if we look as cool as we feel. Wally: Let's hit the clubs and find out.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work load, #complaints, #inexperinced, #exact opposite, #doesn't know much, #hired useless man, #bad attendence, #not perfect, #ask questions

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Boss: You complained about your work load, SO I hired an inexperienced guy to help. Dilbert: This is exactly the opposite of what I wanted. Boss: He doesn't know much, But he makes up for it by asking lots of questions. Dilbert: So He'll be bugging me every minute? Boss: Not every minute. He takes a lot of sick days. Dilbert: So....you hired a guy who is useless, But its okay because he also has bad attendance? Boss: Its not a perfect world. Is this a good time to ask some questions?

Bob Has No Cool Way To Describe His Life

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Bob Has No Cool Way To Describe His Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinosaurs, #flip phones, #smart phones, #technology, #what is cool?, #windows xp

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Dinosaur: All I need is my flip phone, my Windows XP, and my basic cable television. Did I sound like a big, dumb dinosaur that time? Dogbert: Pretty much. Dinosaur: Wow... there is no cool way to describe my life.

Mansplaining The Network

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Mansplaining The Network - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mansplainer, #mansplaining, #relations between the sexes, #sexism, #frustration

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Mansplaining. Man: Let me explain how our network is designed. Alice: I personally designed our network and I know far more about it than you ever will. Man: Do you know what a cloud is? Alice: It's where you'll be playing your harp in a minute.