Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 15
996 Results for Office Workers
View 141 - 150 results for office workers comic strips. Discover the best "Office Workers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 30, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Wally stands behind him and says, "Our new VP says he has an 'open door policy.' Let's check it out." Wally and Dilbert peer into the VP's office. Dilbert says, "Knock knock." Dilbert says, "Hi ho. Nothing important. We just wanted to drop in." The VP sits at his desk reading a document. Wally says, "This open door policy is great. Our last VP was aloof." Dilbert asks, "Are those sourballs?" Wally says, "Look at the furniture in here!" Dilbert stuffs candy into his mouth and says, "I call couch!" The VP asks, "Is there something I can do for you?" Dilbert lies on a couch and says, "Well . . . Sometimes our cubicles are too hot." Wally sits in a chair and adds, "Could you have somebody look into it?" Dilbert and Wally leave the office looking frightened. Dilbert says, "Boy, those sourballs sure lull you into a false sense of security." Wally says, "The man is like a huge insincere spider."
Share August 01, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert stands on the desk. Dilbert says, "We're planning to hire a temp at work. You should apply for the job, Ratbert." Ratbert replies, "Wow! Me? A temp?!" Ratbert continues, "As a temp I would finally get all of the respect and unconditional love that I deserve!!" Dilbert thinks, "Danger: sharp learning curve ahead." Ratbert says, "I assume I'll get an office and a secretary."
Share August 03, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert says to Ratbert, "Congratulations on getting hired as a temp, Ratbert." Ratbert answers, "Where do I start?!" Dilbert tells him, "Your office is this cardboard box in the main hallway. The regular employees will not make eye contact or ask your name." Dilbert continues, "Your status is roughly between the security guard and the crud behind the refrigerator." Ratbert replies, "Do I get a company car?"
Share August 06, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert lies on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. The therapist asks, "When did you start believing that your boss was an evil entity from another dimension?" Dilbert imagines the Boss telling him, "I'd like to sit in on your customer meeting." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The Boss, Dilbert and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Let me share the high level strategic view." Dilbert thinks, "Here we go." The Boss spreads his arms and says, "Life began in the primordial stew literally hundreds of years ago . . ." The Boss continues, "But we are the only company who ever found synergies in our win-win solutions!" The caption says, "Two hours later." The Boss says, "And we won't sop until we delight every customer!" The woman looks shocked and Dilbert covers his eyes. The customer says, "I'd be delighted if you just told me about your new Internet access product." The Boss replies, "I cancelled the funding yesterday." The Boss stands up and says, "Who's up for a tour of our cubicles?" Dilbert says, "Gotta go."
Share August 16, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert says to Dilbert, "You're invisible to your co-workers. But you can compensate by forming a symbiotic relationship with a visible creature." Ratbert joins Dilbert and Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "Ratbert will cling to your back. He'll be your visual and auditory link with your co-workers." Ratbert is suspended in midair between Wally and Alice. Ratbert says to Wally, "So . . . working hard? Or hardly working?" Wally looks into his coffee mug and responds, "I KNEW this Colombian coffee was trouble."
Share September 02, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert approaches a door that is labeled, "Records Retention." In the Records Retention Office, Dilbert hands a pile of documents to the librarian and says, "These valuable documents should be stored for five years." As he throws the documents in the trash bin, the librarian thinks, "This job got so much easier when I realized that nobody ever asks for anything back."
Share September 08, 1995's comic on:
Alice sits at her desk with her back to Wally. Wally asks, "Alice, I'm thinking about quitting and becoming a contract employee. Do you have any advice?" Alice replies, "Sleep in doorways so it doesn't rain on you. The best shopping carts are at 'Lucky.' You can make an excellent sign with black marking pen and a hunk of cardboard." Wally walks away from Alice's cubicle and says, "I hate all of my co-workers." Alice says, "Despite the name, food stamps are NOT edible."
Share September 18, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert watches Wally pack his car trunk. Dilbert asks, "Where are you taking all that office equipment?" Wally answers, "I'm having a garage sale." Wally continues, "Our new company slogan is 'Act like you own the company.' So I've been selling the stuff that I don't use and keeping the money." Dilbert asks, "Is that my new color monitor?" Wally replies, "Yeah, I never use that thing."
Share September 29, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of Alice's desk. Alice has a crown on her head and is holding a document in her hand. She says, "I will approve your expense voucher on one condition." Alice continues, "You must slay the creature who stalks the office at night and eats our hidden snacks." Dilbert holds a baseball bat in one hand and opens a drawer with the other. A mouse peers out of the drawer. Dilbert says to him, "It has to be either you or the security guard." The mouse answers, "Slay him first and see if the problem stops."
Share October 14, 1995's comic on:
An employee sits in Catbert's office. The man says, "My job is too stressful. Can I see a company counselor?" As he plays with the ball of string on his desk, Catbert replies, "I re-engineered our counseling process. Now we put you in a big hole and cover you with sand." The man stands in the hole while Catbert kicks sand onto him. The employee says, "If this is my only benefit I'd better get a LOT of sand!" Catbert says, "Just keep your mouth open."