Pig Without Sun Comic Strips - Page 15

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View 141 - 150 results for pig without sun comic strips. Discover the best "Pig Without Sun" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia, #business plan, #expanded offering, #pet grooming, #lingerie, #as agency, #bug in bikini

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Headline: In Elbonia. Two Elbonians point to a diagram. One says to Dilbert, "Our business plan was to sell mud to people who live in mud." The Elbonian continues, "Later we shrewdly expanded our offerings to include pet grooming and lingerie." The diagram is now a picture of lingerie. The Elbonian continues, "Frankly, I blame our ad agency for what happened next." He holds up a picture of a pig in lingerie.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paper weight, #mission statement, #sun, #fire, #cubicle fire, #mug, #water, #shards

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A disheveled coworker with smoke effusing from his head says to Dilbert and Wally, "Sorry I'm late." The coworker continues, "I left my mission statement paperweight in the sun and it set my cubicle on fire." The coworker continues, "I tried to douse it using my "We are Quality" mug but the handle broke and I got shards."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #man without substance, #use buzzwords, #sell solutions, #not products

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At a meeting, M.T. says, "Hi, I'm M.T. Suit. I'm a man without substance." Alice looks at him nervously. M.T. continues, "I compensate by using buzzwords and attending meetings." M.T. continues, "We need to sell solutions, not products!" The Boss thinks, "I like his style."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nuclear power plant, #our process, #gather customer requirements, #free electricity, #mutating, #xray vision

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Dilbert says to Wally and Asok, "None of us has designed a nuclear power plant before but we can figure it out by using our process." Dilbert continues, "In phase one we will gather customer requirements." Asok is meeting with a customer. Asok says, "So.. you want free electricity without mutating, unless the mutation gives you X-Ray vision." The customer responds, "Yep."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia, #oversee construction, #nuclear power plant, #first order, #uranium, #director of security

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Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert says to two Elbonians, "I'm here to oversee the construction of the nuclear power plant." Dilbert continues, "The first order of business is security for the uranium." An Elbonian responds, "A pig ate it." Dilbert exclaims, "What?! I demand to see your director of security!" The Elbonian answers, "You'll have to wait; the pig ate him too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad job, #package, #quit without notice, #severance package

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Tina asks The Boss, "What's our current severance package?" The Boss answers, "I transfer you to a bad job and you quit without giving notice." Tina says, "I hate your package." The Boss replies, "I hear that a lot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #open door policy, #ruining happiness, #complain, #morale inspiring, #body language, #protective bubble, #stressed out scowl, #stop by, #insincere

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The Boss tells Catbert, "My open door policy is ruining my happiness." The Boss continues, "People stop by all day long and complain." The Boss asks, "How can I maintain the morale-inspiring illusion of an open door policy without actually having one?" Catbert responds, "Use your body language to create a protective bubble of unwelcomness." Catbert clenches his teeth and makes a hostile face. He says, "Try this stressed- out scowl." Dilbert asks Carol, "Can I poke my head in?" Carol responds, "Sure. He has an open door policy." Dilbert enters to find both The Boss and Catbert with stressed-out scowls. The Boss says, "It's a pleasure to see you." Catbert says, "We value your input." Dilbert runs away exclaiming, "Ay-yi-yi-yi!!" The Boss and Catbert poke their heads around the corner, still with stressed-out scowls. The Boss says, "Stop by any time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telecommuted for 4 years, #fired, #unemployment, #empowerment, #sixth sense

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Dilbert, Allen, and Wally are eating lunch. Allen says, "I telecommuted for four years without knowing until today that I'd been fired." Allen continues, "Apparently unemployment feels exactly like empowerment." Allen continues, "This is just like that movie, 'The Sixth Sense.' Did you like that movie, Wally?... Wally?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #latest assignment, #impossible, #slow speed of light, #perfect art, #human cloing, #eliminate garvity, #stop the sun, #reanimate dead, #impossible tasks, #change the world, #nature

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Dilbert hands a piece of paper to The Garbageman and asks, "Does my latest assignment look impossible?" The Garbageman reads the paper and replies, "Let's see... You'd need to slow the speed of light, and perfect the art of human cloning..." Dilbert asks, "So there's hope?" The Garbageman responds, "Eliminate gravity, stop the sun, reanimate the dead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #unwritten rule, #talked to boss's boss, #rule against, #interesting, #wonder why, #transmitting, #rules of esp, #outgoing signals, #silent, #not supposed to, #unwritten, #boss, #alice

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Alice asks, "I did what?" The Boss responds, "You talked to my boss without my permission." Alice says, "I don't remember reading a rule against that." The Boss replies, "That's because it's an unwritten rule." Alice says, "Unwritten you say? Hmm.. isn't that interesting? I wonder why it's unwritten." Alice continues, "I would think you'd be proud to write down an excellent rule such as that." Alice continues, "But if you prefer to keep transmitting rules by ESP, your skull seems to be blocking the out-going signals." Alice continues, "If you're sending a new rule now, turn your head so it can come out your ear hole."