Self Centered Girl Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

184 Results for Self Centered Girl

View 141 - 150 results for self centered girl comic strips. Discover the best "Self Centered Girl" comics from Dilbert.com.

Donuts 'N Vodka

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Donuts 'N Vodka - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cognitive control, #hiring, #job interview, #self control, #temptation, #prediction of success, #donut, #laptop, #bottle vodka, #resist

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Your experience is impressive, but a better predictor of success is your cognitive control. I will leave you for ten minutes with a donut, a laptop full of inappropriate videos, and a bottle of vodka. Try to resist them. Man: Yee-ha! Mmm-mm! Catbert: Do not go in there.

Tina Spreads Rumors About Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Spreads Rumors About Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumor mill, #rumors, #freak accident, #naked, #vacuuming, #spread rumors, #coffee machine, #gossip, #office, #self preservation

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I heard you had a freak accident while vacuuming your house naked. Dilbert: That's a rumor. I don't know how that stuff spreads. Tina: Now I feel a little bad that I told thirty people.

Embellishing Resume At Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Embellishing Resume At Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #self-promotion, #embellishment, #managers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: One of my employees keeps embellishing his accomplishments. CEO: If he works in engineering, fire him. If he works in marketing, promote him. Boss: He doesn't work at all. CEO: Sounds like you have a leader on your hands.

Do Not Attack Me

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Do Not Attack Me - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conflict, #paranoia, #self-fulfilling prophesy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Are the estimates current? Coworker: Why are you attacking me? Dilbert: I feel like attacking you now. Coworker: I knew it!

No Progress On Writing The Novel

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Progress On Writing The Novel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #writing, #writer, #talent, #frustration, #writers block, #self esteem, #self deprecation, #depression, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: How's your novel coming along? Dilbert: I'm off to a slow start. All I did this week is stare at a blank screen and feel bad about my lack of talent. Dogbert: Maybe try writing something. Dilbert: I have to think that would make things worse.

Software Killed Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Software Killed Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #software, #free will, #behavior, #murder, #anger, #glitch, #malfunction, #control, #self control, #psychology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have a report that you killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl. Dilbert: Not exactly. My brain stimulator had a software glitch, and it made me homicidal for a minute. Boss: So... you're a murderer, right? Dilbert: Software killed Ted. I was only the weapon.

Dilbert Has Free Will

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Has Free Will - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #free will, #crime, #invention, #murder, #control, #self control, #guilt, #innocence

View Transcript

Transcript

Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #martial arts, #self defense, #robber, #mugging, #mugger, #yoga, #dance, #fight, #beaten, #fists, #hit

View Transcript

Transcript

Thief: Hey! Give me your wallet. Boss: I must warn you that I am skilled in the arts of yoga, feng shui, and Irish dancing. Dilbert: But it wasn't enough? Boss: He did a fist thing.

I Used To Have A Nemesis

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I Used To Have A Nemesis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nemesis, #enemy, #logic, #self esteem, #anger, #hate

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I used to have a nemesis. Bit I cut out the middle person and learned to hate myself. Dilbert: That's dumb. Man: I told you I don't need you!

Closer To Being A Terrorist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Closer To Being A Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Religion, #logic, #terrorism, #terrorist, #radicalization, #extremism, #fbi, #interrogation

View Transcript

Transcript

FBI Secret Facility. Asok: I am a nonviolent Hindu. You use violence as a tool, and your religion is centered around one of Islam's prophets. So... technically, you're closer to being a radical Islamic terrorist than I am. Agent: I hate engineers.