Sits Next To Comic Strips - Page 15

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View 141 - 150 results for sits next to comic strips. Discover the best "Sits Next To" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #hospital, #directions, #drive, #driving, #car, #automobile, #lying, #sarcasm

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Dogbert walks on the sidewalk. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks, "Hey dog! What's the quickest way to go to the hospital?" Dogbert replies, "Drive as fast as you can into that tree." The driver asks, "What's the second quickest way?" Dogbert replies, "Hmm . . . Well, go left, then right, right, left, left, left, right, left, left." The says, "Thanks!" as he drives away. Dogbert thinks, "Actually, I have no idea how to get to the hospital . . ." Dogbert thinks, "But I didn't want him to think I'm a jerk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #exercise, #perfect, #health, #professionally, #cigarettes, #tobacco, #tobacco company

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Dilbert sits on an examining table in his boxer shorts. The doctor says, "Apparently you ignored my advice and got no exercise." The doctor continues, "But you're in perfect health, which really annoys me professionally." The doctor continues, "I'm prescribing two packs of cigarettes per day . . . Don't cross me again." Dilbert looks at the reader.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #robert, #mike wallace, #unethically, #affair, #randomly chosen, #business

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become an ambush reporter, like Mike Wallace." Dogbert holds a microphone toward a man carrying a briefcase. Dogbert asks, "Is is true you made all of your money unethically and you're having an affair?" The man covers his face with his hands and cries, "Yes!! Yes!! How did you find me?!" Dogbert replies, "You were chosen randomly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #computer, #Dogbert, #crash, #six, #bucks, #diving, #sky diving, #lessons, #cheap

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dilbert thinks, "I wonder if Dogbert is enjoying his sky diving lessons." Dogbert crashes through the ceiling and lands on the desk. Dogbert lies face-down on the desk and says, "Boy . . . No wonder they only charge six bucks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #doc, #doctor, #redundant, #organs, #kidneys, #large, #intestines, #advantage, #pancreas, #patients, #relax

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Dilbert sits on an examining table wearing only his underwear. Dilbert asks the doctor, "How's it look, Doc?" The doctor examines an X-ray and says, "You came just in time." The physician explains, "I'm way behind in my alimony payments. I'll have to do some unnecessary surgery on you." The doctor continues, "You have a fair number of redundant organs." The doctor continues, "Two lungs . . . Two kidneys . . . Large AND small intestines . . ." Dilbert looks scared. The doctor says, "And I'm sure you aren't taking full advantage of your pancreas." Dilbert faints. The doctor looks at the reader and says, "I find that humor helps my patients relax."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #dinner, #love, #witch, #break the ice, #small talk, #witchcraft

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Dilbert walks next to a woman and thinks, "I can't believe she agreed to have dinner with me." In the restaurant, Dilbert pulls out the woman's chair and thinks, "I'm afraid to say anything to spoil this moment . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I guess I should say something to break the ice." The woman asks, "Did I mention that I'm a witch?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #witch, #practicing, #awful, #lawn ornaments, #tacky, #lawn

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Dilbert sits at a restaurant table with a woman. The woman says, "Thanks for asking me out. Most guys get scared when they find out I'm a practicing witch." The woman continues, "Then they say something I don't like and I end up turning them into lawn ornaments." Dilbert replies, "That's awful!" The woman says, "Tell me about it . . . you can't believe how tacky my lawn is now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #corporate, #takeover, #complete, #hostile, #bid, #meowco, #cat, #Food, #company, #efficient, #hassling, #ashamed, #hairball

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Dogbert sits at a table holding a document. He tells Dilbert, "Plans for the corporate takeover are complete." Dilbert asks, "What corporate takeover?" Dogbert replies, "It's a hostile bid for control of the Meowco Cat Food Company." Dogbert explains, "When I become CEO, I'll order them to add a hairball to every can of cat food." Dogbert chuckles. Dilbert says, "That is cruel and senseless. I'm thoroughly ashamed of you." Dilbert leaves the room. Dogbert sits on the hassock and thinks, "Gee . . . It seems so much more efficient than hassling one cat at a time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #buckingham palace, #princess, #kiss, #frog, #witch's, #curse, #lady di, #hideous, #creatures, #awkward, #Family, #reunions

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Dogbert stands on a chair and Dogbert the Frog sits next to him. Dogbert says into the telephone, "Hello . . . Buckingham Palace? I was wondering if the Princess would be willing to kiss a frog and remove a witch's curse for us." Dogbert says into the phone, "Oh . . . Lady Di does not kiss hideous little creatures . . ." Dogbert says, "That must be mighty awkward at family reunions . . . Hello?" Dilbert covers his eyes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #valuable, #collect, #good ones, #stamps, #fulfilling, #adrenalin rush

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Dilbert sits at a table and looks at a stamp through a magnifying glass. Dogbert asks, "Why do people collect stamps?" Dilbert replies, "Because they're valuable." Dogbert asks, "Why are they valuable?" Dilbert replies, "Because people collect up all the good ones." Dogbert says, "So, you collect stamps because they're valuable, and they're valuable because you collect them." Dilbert replies, "Right." Dogbert says, "Sounds pretty fulfilling." Dilbert replies, "To be honest, I just do it for the adrenalin rush."