Stimulates Brain Comic Strips - Page 15

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204 Results for Stimulates Brain

View 141 - 150 results for stimulates brain comic strips. Discover the best "Stimulates Brain" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honesty, relations between the sexes, collaborate, sexism, water down, interpretation

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Boss: Alice, I want you to collaborate with Larry. Alice: And by collaborate you mean water down my brilliance with this dullard's brain flatulence. Boss: She doesn't play well with others. Alice: If I were a man, you'd call it confidence.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, coffee & tea, managers & supervisors, brain scan, management potential, warm brown liquid, speed evolved, coffee reservoir, business

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Catbert: Your brain scan shows tremendous management potential. The part of your brain that would normally control ethics is filled with some sort of warm, brown liquid. It appears that you speed-evolved part of your brain into a coffee reservoir. Wally: People think I don't have a plan.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags discussion, thinking, brain storming, ignore studies, hatred, agreed

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Boss: Who wants to go first with the brainstorming? Dilbert: I suggest we ignore all of the studies that say brainstorming doesn't work. Boss: Now I hate you a little extra. Dilbert: Because I agreed with your plan?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, ignorance (knowledge), competitors, brain waves, shielded helmet, company secrets, trash can

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Wally: Our competitors have technology for reading brain waves at a distance. This shielded helmet will prevent them from reading the company secrets in your mind. You owe me $20. Dilbert: The bet was that he has to wear the trash can for a week.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags death & dying, inventions, cryonics, preserve brain, transhumanism, robot body, staus update, favors, repaid

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Dilbert: Cryonics will allow me to preserve my brain until the age of transhumanism so I can live forever in a robot body. Boss: Dilbert, I need a status update on why your last status wasn't updated. Dilbert: Please kill me now. Wally: I don't do favors that can't be repaid.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, brain wash, company profits, more imprtant, employers engagement, 12 hour days, work for money

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Catbert: I'm going to brainwash you to believe company profits are more important than your health. It's called "employee engagement," and it will make you work 12-hour days while thinking you enjoy every minute of it. Dilbert: Can I just work for money? Catbert: Why are you being a jerk about this?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags interviews, human resources, random statements, ostriches eye, bigger than brain, randomness, confession, job interview, approved questions, business

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Boss: I'm only allowed to ask interview questions that have been approved by Human Resources. And they haven't approved any yet. So all I can do is make random statements. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. Interviewee: So is mine!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ability to focus, painful, rewired brain, thinking, change topic

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Wally: The distractions of the digital age have rewired my brain and ruined my ability to focus. Now I find it painful to dwell on any topic for longer than five seconds. Boss: Let's talk about this. Wally: No-o-o! Change the topic!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags chocolate, obliviousness, dark chocolate, brain works better, magical thinking, fad chasing, eating, three pounds

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Boss: I ate three pounds of dark chocolate and it made my brain work better. Now I realize that everything I've done in my career up to this point has been magical thinking and fad-chasing. What should I do? Catbert: Stop eating chocolate.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags thinking, technology problem, executive attention netowrk, social awareness, radical change, sarcasm

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Dilbert: I have to warn you that I'll be going deep on a technology problem today. I'll be using the executive attention network of my brain at the expense of my social awareness. Boss: Sounds like a radical change. Dilbert: I can't tell if that was sarcasm.