Talk Comic Strips - Page 15
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
368 Results for Talk
View 141 - 150 results for talk comic strips. Discover the best "Talk" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday November 04,
2003
Tags level conscious, vide presidents offcie, secretary, make direct eye contact, meeting, boss, new hire, business
Transcript
"We're not 'level conscious' here." "You could walk up to any vice president's office and talk to his secretary as if you were an equal." "Which, by the way, you're not. So don't try to make direct eye contact."
Tuesday December 30,
2003
Tags office relocation, studied boss, learned methods, corner you, scream about bright light
Transcript
"I am in charge of the office relocation project, also known as O.R.P." "I have never managed anything, but I have studied our boss to learn his methods." "Let's see.. step one, I corner you. Step two, I talk until you scream about seeing a bright light."
Wednesday February 04,
2004
Tags new chip, slower, claim fastest, benchmark test, used old drivers, wearing a wire, marketing, crime, business
Transcript
Dilbert: "Our new chip is slower than our competition's products." The Boss: "We'll claim we're the fastest. If anyone does benchmark tests, we'll say they used old drivers." Dilbert: "Whenever I talk to you, I feel like I should be wearing a wire." The boss: "Since when is marketing a crime?"
Thursday February 05,
2004
Tags customers, buy prodcut, credibilty, buying services, dont talk
Transcript
"Dogberts Consults." Dogbert: "Never listen to your customers." "They were dumb enough to buy your product, so they have no credibility." "That reminds me: thanks for buying my services. Don't talk. Shhh." The boss: "Ooh."
Monday March 29,
2004
Tags televison show, doctor dogbert, lazy, immoral, fat morons
Transcript
"I plan to start my own television talk show." "I'll change my name to 'Doctor Dogbert' so people think I'm qualified to call them lazy, immoral fat morons." "You already call people those names." "Yeah, but I want them to thank me for it."
Sunday April 11,
2004
Tags pay calculated, teal, side conversations, cilantro, head will explode, test theory, better than hoped, meeting, table, conference table, business
Transcript
"You pay will be calculated a new way." "Then I said teal isn't a color." "Shhh! no side conversations." "Multiplied by the base salary." "I think it's a spice." "No side conversations." "It's like cilantro." "I can't help it. I'm the kind of guy who needs to talk or else it feels like my head will explode." "Let's test that theory." Mmmph! "Wow, that worked out better than I'd hoped."
Monday May 03,
2004
Tags 80 hour week, crazy talk, less work, loofah, evil director, human resources, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Alice: Im working 80 hours a week. I barely have time to bathe. Catbert: try using your tongue during meetings, Its like a bath and a loofah all in one. Alice: Or I could do less work. Catbert: Thats crazy talk.
Sunday May 09,
2004
Tags attend meeting, mandatory meeting, meeting mandatory, approval, bending rules, handed out cash
Transcript
"Can I talk to you after the mandatory meeting?" "Whoa! Whoa! I didn't give you approval to attend that meeting." "The meeting is mandatory." "Approval is mandatory too." "Okay, whatever." "May I go to the mandatory meeting?" "All requests must be in writing." "It's mandatory!!! Man-duh-tory!!!" "If people start bending the rules, before long, murder will be legal." "That was the finest mandatory meeting I've ever attended! They handed out cash!" "Shut up."
Tuesday May 25,
2004
Tags customer visit, zombie, technical talk, liberal arts major, blue
Transcript
Customer Visit Dilbert: I can see form your zombie stare that you don't understand technical talk. Dilbert: Let me try iy in a language I call "liberal arts major" Dilbert: Its blue. Customer: It has a color??!
Thursday June 03,
2004
Tags lunch, wine, Dilbert, talk about people, fertilair, digging dirt, intern drunk, taking notes
Transcript
"Asok, let's go to lunch. I'll buy." "Really?" "We'll have some wine, maybe talk about people that we both know." "Fun!" "And what does Dilbert call me?" "The fertiliar! Ha ha!"


