Ten Million Dollars Comic Strips - Page 15
427 Results for Ten Million Dollars
View 141 - 150 results for ten million dollars comic strips. Discover the best "Ten Million Dollars" comics from Dilbert.com.
Asok is sitting at his computer terminal and thinks, "Oh no! I got an e-mail chain letter. It says I'll die if I don't send it to ten more people." Asok thinks, "But if I forward the message, the Curse of Dogbert will be upon me." Asok looks like Dogbert, as do Alice and Wally (dog ears and dog nose). Asok says, "...So, I figured a curse is better than certain death, right?" Wally says, "Spank you very much." Alice puts her hands on her hips and looks angry.
Wally, Alice, and Dilbert are meeting. Wally says, "Alice is overdosing on antidepressants." Dilbert says, "We must induce vomiting." Wally holds a piece of paper in front of Alice's face. Wally says, "Look at our mission statement, Alice. The people who wrote it earn ten times your salary." Dilbert comes home disheveled. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "The plan worked perfectly, up to the point where all three of us were having and Alice was punching us."
A secretary holds an envelope and tells an uptight co-worker, "I'm collecting for Ed's farewell gift." Woman pulls something out of the envelope and says, "Ed, you treated me like dirt. I find you guilty and I fine you five dollars." First woman says, "I just put that in there." Angry woman says, "Come back if you get more."
Dilbert and Dogbert sitting on a couch. Dilbert is eating chips. Dogbert says, "I donated a billion dollars to the United Nations today." Dilbert replies, "That's nice of you." Dogbert says, "My only condition is that they name something after me." At the United Nations, three UN representatives sit at a table. The French diplomat exclaims, "For the millionth time: Yes, I'm sure we want to keep calling it France!"
Wally looking at a bloated Dilbert. Dilbert says, "My dog put fertility drugs in my coffee." Dilbert continues, "At first I was mad. Then the tabloids offered me a million dollars for my story." Wally inquires, "Have you seen a doctor?" Dilbert replies, "My agent advises against that."
Alice and a bloated Dilbert sitting at a table with meals. Dilbert says, "I've been eating like crazy since Dogbert put the fertility drugs in my coffee." Dilbert pats his bloated belly and continues, "I'm guessing I have ten or fifteen babies in there. It's hard to keep them fed." Alice says, "And your only evidence of pregnancy is weight gain?" As Dilbert lifts a sandwich to his mouth, he says, "Here comes another hoagie, kids!"
Caption: Dogbert Consults Dogbert and the boss sit at a desk. Dogbert is in the boss' chair. Dogbert says, "My recommendations are based on an analysis of accountability." The boss says, "Ohh." Dogbert says, "As a consultant, I'm not accountable to your stockholders. So I can recommend anything that amuses me." Dogbert says, "I recommend that you convert all of your U.S. dollars to elbonian currency... whatever that is." The boss says, "The eyecrud."
Wally hands Carol a piece of paper. Wally says, "How long will it take to process my voucher?" Carol says, "I assign a priority to everyone. I'm happy to say you're a 'one'." Carol sits in front of her computer. Carol thinks, "One chance in a million."
Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at the conference table. The Boss says, "We're having an all-employee talent show for charity. Tickets are three dollars!" Alice rolls her eyes. Alice says, "We'll give you three dollars apiece to forget the whole thing. It works out the same." The Boss says, "Deal." Alice says, "Ironically, math is my only talent."
The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss has a piece of paper in front of him and Dilbert has his laptop. The Boss says, "I'll need a project plan to justify the resources we need to change our software." Dilbert says, "I can make those software shnages in ten seconds." Dilbert types on the laptop. He says, "Done." The Boss says, "Good work. Now all we need is that plan."