The Show Comic Strips - Page 15

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View 141 - 150 results for the show comic strips. Discover the best "The Show" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #director of marketing, #ideas, #undercuts authority, #boss, #putrid boss, #bullying, #initative, #hammered

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"I have a great idea." "I was chatting with the director of marketing and we...." "WHAT?!!" "Never discuss ideas with the director of marketing! Never!" "Erk!" "You work for me! When you talk to others managers it undercuts my authority!" "If I accept ideas from another manager, it's just like he's my boss!" "Amazing! Did you know that your behavior is described on page 27 of the 'Putrid Boss' Book? It's the chapter on killing initiative and bullying!" "That's fascinating. Now let me show you something that isn't in the book." "It looks like someone has been showing initiative." "Please shut up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss's pet, #bully staff, #forehead wrinkles, #hired

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I see that you have lots of experience as a boss's pet. "Show me the face you'll use when you bully my staff behind my back." "Okay." "Nice use of forehead wrinkles. You're hired." "Grrrr..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new guy, #project staus report, #random pharse, #generatormmeail, #listens, #when he's talking

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"Alice, can you show the new guy how to do a project status report?" "He doesn't read them, so we all use a random phrase generator. I'll e-mail it to you." "You said that in front of him." "He only listens when he's talking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"We're off to see the Wizard of Landfill. He'll give you some ambition and he'll show me how to get home." "Can we go too? I need experience...And he needs a brain, heart, soul, and a strategic vision." "No I don't. You're fired!" "And a job...I need a job."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Oh great Wizard of Landfill, can you show me how to go home?...Also, my pals need experience and ambition." "You're here because you ran out of good ideas...Here are a few gems about the idiots who manage my company." "There's no place like my home office...There's no place like my home office..." "He was creepy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert's Retirement Planning Seminar "I'll show you how to spend your golden years on the golf course." "Get a job caddying for people who have better jobs than you." "Never pay rent again, thanks to the patented Dogbert breathing tube for sand traps!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I was wondering if you could stop by this weekend and show me how to install my wireless network. "Under what theory are the competent obliged to help the incompetent?" "Wow. This is awkward." "Watch what happens when I just stare at you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Oprah invited me to appear on her show to talk about my book, but I'm too busy. Can you pretend you're me?" "Gosh...Normally I would never do something like that, but it's probably my only chance of being on Oprah. Thank you." "Ow! Ow! Ow!" "Oprah is a surprisingly good puncher."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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We can kick a field goal in the ninth inning if we use a full-court press. "Remember that you drive for show but you pick up the spare for dough." "Have you been helping Alice with her sports metaphors?" "Perhaps."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"You're so attractive that I'm blind to your complete lack of qualifications." "If I hire you, will you show up for work?" "Not often, you ignorant lump." "Ha ha! It's cute the way you say it." "Ha ha! I want your office."