Thinking Comic Strips - Page 15
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437 Results for Thinking
View 141 - 150 results for thinking comic strips. Discover the best "Thinking" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 13,
1996
Tags hype, most excellent, pry myself away, warming device, windows 95, tormenting people
Transcript
Catbert sits on a monitor and thinks, "I know I should be off tormenting people . . ." Catbert continues thinking, "But I can't pry myself away from this most excellent butt-warming device." Catbert lies face down on the monitor and thinks, "It's probably because of the hype, but I'm thinking this would be even better with 'Windows 95.'"
Thursday March 21,
1996
Tags executive review board, popcorn for soul, prepare presentation, smell, meeting canceled
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "I want everyone to prepare a presentation for the executive review board. Urgent." Dilbert makes sniffing noises and says, "What's that smell? Yes!!! . . . It's the scent of unnecessary work for a meeting that will be canceled." Wally peers over the cubicle wall and says to Dilbert, "Did you smell the unnecessary work? We can ignore it!" Dilbert replies, "It's like popcorn for the soul." Alice sits in her cubicle thinking, "Urgent."
Tuesday April 23,
1996
Tags co worker, current job, engineer, higher salary, throughly unqualified, unrealistic plans, wally resign, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally stand in the office kitchen. As he pours himself a cup of coffee, Wally says, "So I'm thinking I'll resign, then I'll reapply for my current job at a higher salary." As they walk back to their cubicles, Dilbert says, "That's a good plan except for the fact that you're thoroughly unqualified for your current job." Wally says, "I need to share my unrealistic plans with a friend who isn't an engineer." Dilbert says, "I'm more of a co-worker than a friend, per se."
Wednesday April 24,
1996
Tags marketing plan, comments, obvious generalities, wishful thinking, business value, glamour career
Transcript
An employee from marketing, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The woman says, "And that's the marketing plan. Any comments?" Dilbert says, "It appears to be a bunch of obvious generalities and wishful thinking with no apparent business value." The woman thinks, "Marketing didn't turn out to be the glamour career I expected." Wally shows his copy of the plan to Dilbert and says, "I circled all the words you won't find in any dictionary."
Wednesday May 15,
1996
Tags inert, leadership, morale boosting, next phase, pending merger, praised with fear, rigor mortis, unmotivated
Transcript
Dilbert stands with his arms extended and says to the Boss, "I'm paralyzed with fear because of the pending merger." Dilbert continues, "Thanks to your leadership I've gone from being unmotivated to being inert." Dilbert says, "I think I'm advancing to the next phase. Hello, rigor mortis!! Take me, I'm ready!!" The Boss walks away thinking, "It might be time for a morale-boosting potluck lunch."
Thursday May 23,
1996
Tags lying in sun spot, net worth, remains, laughter
Transcript
Ratbert sits on a file cabinet while Dilbert works at his desk. Ratbert says, "Yesterday I was lying in a sun spot thinking about how you work, work, work but your net worth remains constant." Ratbert throws his head back and yells, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" Dilbert looks angry. Ratbert says, "Well . . . I guess you had to be there."
Saturday May 25,
1996
Tags two percent annual, disppoint, compensated, drastic, low expectations, good sign, thinking
Transcript
Alice sits at a manager's desk and yells, "A two percent annual raise?!! Wowee!!" Alice continues, "Ha ha! You tried to disappoint me but I compensated by drastically lowering my expectations!" Wally and Dilbert peer in the door and see Alice dancing on a chair and shouting, "Weeee!!" Dilbert says, "Yeah, it MIGHT be a good sign, but I'm thinking not."
Friday June 07,
1996
Tags filbert's mother, all you can eat, mall, got a booth
Transcript
Dilbert's mother sits in a chair and says into the phone, "Dilbert, I found your father. He's been at the 'all you can eat' restaurant in the mall since 1989." Dilbert sits in his cubicle and says into the phone, "He's so literal - he didn't want to leave until it was 'all he could eat.'" Dilbert asks, "When's he coming home?" Dilbert's mother answers, "I'm thinking of joining him. He got a booth."
Sunday June 09,
1996
Tags Dogbert, gullible, spend money, gullible freinds, touch tone phone
Transcript
Dilbert walks through the house thinking, "Where's Dogbert?" Dilbert sits on the couch and turns the television on with the remote control. He thinks, "Uh-oh." On a tv commercial, Dogbert sits at a desk wearing a sorcerer's hat. Dogbert asks, "Are you gullible? Do you spend money on stupid stuff?" Dogbert continues, "Call the 'Dogbert Gullible Friends Hotline' for help. Only four dollars per minute." On tv, a woman says into a telephone, "Hello, Dogbert. I bought an exercise machine and I'm still lazy." Dogbert says, "Please hold." The woman replies, "Okay." Dogbert says, "Call now, and I'll replace your old television with a new one that looks just like it, while you sleep!" Dogbert continues, "If you don't have a touch tone phone, stay on the line . . . Until you get one."
Friday July 26,
1996
Tags dogcart institure, advanced thinking, ending pverty, televison, wretched lives, paid guests, straggler cops
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk chair and tells Dilbert, "Here in the 'Dogbert Institute for Advanced Thinking,' I have devised a plan for ending poverty." Dogbert continues, "My plan is to wait until there are so many talk shows on television that all the people with wretched lives can be paid guests." Dilbert asks, "What about the poor people who don't want to be on talk shows?" Dogbert replies, "We'll get the stragglers on 'Cops.'"


