Twin Sister Death Comic Strips - Page 15
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238 Results for Twin Sister Death
View 141 - 150 results for twin sister death comic strips. Discover the best "Twin Sister Death" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 20,
2009
Tags #meeting, #bleak, #pessimistic, #doom, #beating, #angry, #economy, #violence, #business
Transcript
Strategy Meeting Man says, "The weak economy is limiting our strategic options." Man says, "I won't sugarcoat anything." Man says, "Option one is a long slide to oblivion." Oblivion Man says, "Option two is a death spiral." Man says, "Our new company logo is a man getting sucked into a toilet." Man says, "Our revised mission statememnt is 'Forage during daylight. Hide at night.'" Man says, "I'll pass out clubs, and you can decide among yourselves how to downsize by fifty percent." Wally says, "Is it just me or was it better when they sugarcoated?"
Sunday November 15,
2009
Tags #customer, #hands, #refusal, #ridicule, #criticism, #germs, #angry
Transcript
The boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to meet one of our biggest customers. She has some technical questions." Dilbert says, "Whoa! Get that disease-infested paw away from me!" Dilbert says, "Don't you follow the news? Shaking hands is so 2008." Dilbert says, "No offense, but you look more like a virus incubator than a vigorous hand washer." Dilbert says, "So why don't you pull that death stick back up your sleeve and we can pretend this ugly incident never happened." Dilbert says, "And if it's not too much to ask, could you exhale toward things I'm likely not to touch?" Dilbert says, "Okay, now that the pleasantries are out of the way, what can I tell you about our new product line?" Dilbert says, "We lost a customer, but I survived the meeting." The Boss says, "Next time, do it the other way."
Saturday November 28,
2009
Tags #punishment, #beard, #mislead, #book, #worker, #background check, #innocent, #screaming
Transcript
The Boss says, "Ted, I just got the results of your security clearance background check." The Boss says, "Homeland security ordered me to beat you to death with our emergency preparedness binder." Ted says, "But?.I haven't done anything wrong!" The Boss says, "I might have said some things about your new beard."
Saturday February 06,
2010
Tags #boss, #security, #canceled, #dead, #morbid, #cremate, #thermostat, #hiding, #ductwork
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Where's our pointy-haired boss?" Carol says, "Dead." Carol says, "I canceled his security clearance, so he went into hiding in the ductwork. By now he's probably gotten stuck and starved to death." Carol says, "I plan to cremate his remains, but it might take a while; the thermostat only goes up to 85."
Thursday February 25,
2010
Tags #new account manager, #boring job, #problem solver, #introduce, #shake hands, #first day, #toys
Transcript
The Boss says, "Dilbert, meet our new account manager." Dilbert says, "Hi." The Boss says, "His job is solving a hodgepodge of problems that would bore a normal person to death." The Boss says, "We think his parents didn't let him have toys." Dilbert says, "The first day is the easiest."
Friday July 23,
2010
Tags #death ray, #invention, #brain scan, #popcorn, #microwave, #worry, #eyebrows, #north korea
Transcript
CEO CEO says, "We're getting a lot of interest in your death ray invention." Dilbert says, "It's not a death ray. It's a portable brain scanner with a popcorn microwave option?" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. That's a death ray." CEO says, "We have an RFQ from North Korea."
Saturday July 24,
2010
Tags #Advice, #death ray, #invention, #evil, #coffee maker, #disservice, #success, #garbage man
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My company wants to turn my invention into a death ray. How can I stop them from succeeding?" Garbage man says, "There is one natural force that can stop any form of success. It goes by the name?" Dilbert says, "Wally?" Wally says, "How may I be of disservice?"
Monday August 09,
2010
Tags #special project, #secret, #confidential, #dig grave, #shovel, #death, #medical
Transcript
The Boss says, "I need you to work on a highly confidential project." The Boss says, "When you're done, I want you to dig your own shallow grave and beat yourself to death with the shovel." Dilbert says, "Why does it feel as if my entire career has been preparation for this project?" The Boss says, "You're welcome."
Thursday September 30,
2010
Tags #boss, #employee, #meeting, #change, #freak out, #panic, #mouth open, #yell, #eyes closed, #death, #business, #medical
Transcript
The Boss says, "Don't be afraid of change, Asok." Asok says, "Okay. Wait. What?" Asok says, "You subtle implication is that I should change to be more like you!" The Boss says, "Bumpy start." Asok says, "I choose death!"
Wednesday October 27,
2010
Tags #date, #restaurant, #drink, #martini, #olive, #choke, #shake hand, #vortex of failure
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Maybe I can't offer as much as other guys." Dilbert says, "I spend my days clinging to the walls of my fabric-covered box while being consumed by a vortext of failure." Woman says, "But long term?" Dilbert says, "Probably choke to death on an olive."