After Tax Earnings Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

389 Results for After Tax Earnings

View 141 - 150 results for after tax earnings comic strips. Discover the best "After Tax Earnings" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo's meeting, #boos, #Dilbert, #status on technology, #platform migration, #nothing to hide, #100 drunken clowns, #beed in their underpants, #decline in morale, #pretending tow ork, #get fired, #hide things

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO Meeting The Boss: "I brought Dilbert in case you have any technical questions." CEO: "What's the status on the technology platform migration project?" The Boss: "Be completely honest. We have nothing to hide." Dilbert: "Well, okay." "The project is like a hundred drunken clowns with bees in their underpants." "I expect the decline in morale to lead to violence." "Most of us are only pretending to work while secretly hoping the project gets canceled after you get fired by the board." "It turns out that we did have a few things to hide."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Every project you worked on this year got canceled after the reorganization." "It's as if you didn't even exist." "That's not entirely true." "For example, I occupied space." "I'd like to see someone who doesn't exist do that." "A dead person can occupy space." "But a dead person exists." "I won the argument, but it was a hollow victory."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #estimates, #tax and shipping, #realx, #untight, #deep breath, #losing it

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do your estimates include tax and shipping? Tina: Relax, relax, calm down." "There's no need to go all nuts about the tax and shipping. It's under control. Take a deep breath." Dilbert: Um...All I asked was..." " Tina: Gaaa! You're totally losing it now!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pr campaign, #stock price, #grossly inflated, #buy companies, #make money, #manage companies

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Thanks to my P.R. campaign, your stock price is grossly over-inflated." "Now you can use your stock to buy companies that actually make money." "After you manage those companies into the toilet, give me a jingle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assigning balme, #eventual failure, #wrong vendor, #alienate the client, #rendered mott, #by noncompoops

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'd like to kick off the project by assigning blame for its eventual failure. Dilbert: Shouldn't we do that after the project is over? Dogbert: I see no reason to wait. Dilbert: Well...okay. Our boss will make us use the wrong vendor. Wally won't do any work. Alice will alienate the client, and Ted is generally worthless. Dilbert: In summary, my excellent work will be rendered moot by nincompoops. Asok: Do you even work here? Dogbert: No, I was just in the neighborhood.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #actual meeting, #day after meeting, #pre meeting, #thursday, #evil, #underpaid

View Transcript

Transcript

Did you set up my pre-meeting for Wednesday? "Yes. It's on Thursday." "You scheduled my pre-meeting for the day after the meeting?" "That was the only day that everyone could make it." "There's no point in having a pre-meeting after the actual meeting." "Sure there is. You can talk about how much better the meeting would have been if you had been prepared." "Here comes the pointy-haired boss. You'd better scurry away before he gives you more work." "There's a fine line between evil and underpaid."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'll be right back after I return these dishes to the cafeteria." "Whoa, whoa!" "Winners don't return dishes to the cafeteria." "Then how do the dishes get back?" "You must use your power of low standards." "Just place the dishes on the floor and wait for a loser with high standards." "Gaaa! Dishes on the floor!" "Once again I have to clean up after slobs!" "It is like a miracle." "Now ask her to bring you back a yogurt."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Our CEO is here to answer any of your questions about our restatement of earnings." "Will you return your $25,000,000 bonus from last year, now that you acknowledge it was unearned?" "And what's your name?" "Dilbert."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"...And I work there as an engineer." "Go away. I lost $3,000 when your company restated its earnings." "Tonight I was rejected for corporate malfeasance." "I'll add it to the list."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Today the company restated its earnings from 'a few frillion' to 'a loss of 1.3 billion'. "This would be humiliating if I had any friends." "Your strategy of being unattractive is paying off." "I'm ugly like a fox."