Dilbert's Mother Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

452 Results for Dilbert's Mother

View 141 - 150 results for dilbert's mother comic strips. Discover the best "Dilbert's Mother" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #supermodel, #trouble finding dates, #men are intimidated, #beauty, #computer skills, #system adminstartor, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at Dilbert's computer at home. Dilbert says, "I'm chatting with a supermodel who has trouble finding dates." Dilbert says, "She says that men are intimidated by her beauty and her computer skills." Dilbert says, "Dang! The system administrator is making a move on her." Dogbert ears fly up. Dogbert says, "Type Faster!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #direction signs, #conference, #arrow, #pointing right, #need pointing left, #spooky, #flipped sign

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss leans into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "We have a problem." The Boss holds up a cutout arrow and says, "I ordered these direction signs for our conference tomorrow." The Boss holds the arrow in front of him and says, "But they all point to the right. I need left arrows." The Boss asks, "Is it too late to change the site of the conference to match the arrows?" Dilbert thinks and says, "Well, that would put us in the middle of a lake." Dilbert continues, "I guess we could get a helicopter to built a deep- water platform hotel...by tomorrow." The Boss holds the arrow and says, "Okay, but get to bids." He turns the arrow, and it now points to the left. He looks down and says, "What?" The Boss walks out of the cubicle carrying the arrow and staring at it. He says, "Spooky."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new cfo, #babbling idiot, #offcie, #dilbert questions

View Transcript

Transcript

The moron in messy suit stands in Dilbert's cubicle. The moron says, "Then we need tp PV the DCF and get the ROI to the EOC ASAP." Dilbert says, "Are you our new CFO or a babbling idiot who just happened to wander by?" The moron says, "Which one pays more?" Dilbert thinks, "The mystery deepens."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teach morons, #high level jobs, #addicted to wagging, #ear clokwise, #tongue in

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on Dilbert's computer. Dogbert says, "I'm going to teach morons how o get high-level jobs." Dilbert says, "Why?" Dogbert says, "I'm addicted to wagging." Dogbert's tail wags. Dilbert says, "Carry on." Dogbert stands in front of three messy men with vacant eyes. They all have their tongues out. Dogbert says, "Now turn your ear clockwise to get your tongue back in."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #filberts mother, #still loves son, #loves unicrons

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert's Mom pours a cup of coffee. Dilbert has a unicorn horn growing out of his forehead. Dilbert says, "At least I can count on my mom to love me, despite my horn." Dilbert's Mom says, "Yes, of course, albeit not as much as before." Dilbert says, "How much less?" Dilbert's mom says, "Don't worry my love of unicorns practically covers the gap."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #signed form, #alter dna, #legal documents, #look stupid, #not funny

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands with his arms crossed by Catbert's desk. Catbert holds a piece of paper. Catbert says, "Don't complain to me. You signed the form giving us permission to alter your DNA" Dilbert throws his hands up in frustration. Dilbert says, "No one reads legal documents before signing them. It makes you look stupid." Catbert looks at Dilbert's horn. Catbert says, "You have a point." Dilbert says, "That is SO not funny."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wally and boss, #no actual work, #excellent reviews, #make job helll, #moved cucbicle, #bathroom stall, #cubicle with door, #calls mother

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits in the Boss' office. The Boss says, "Wally, you haven't done any actual work in years, and yet we continue to pay you." Wally says, "Have I said thanks?" The Boss replies, "I'd fire you, but your performance reviews are all 'excellents." The Boss continues, "So, my plan is to make your job a living hell until you quit." Wally raises his fist and says, "You'll never win! My standards are lower than you can imagine!" The Boss says, "I'll start by moving you to a smaller cubicle." Wally crosses his arms and says, "Is that the best you got? Ha! Ha! Ha!" Wally is in a bathroom stall on the phone. He says, "Mom, guess who got an office with a door!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #delegate tasks, #cash flow estimate, #urgent, #boss must wait, #Dilbert, #assignment request, #wait a few days

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and thinks, "It's time to delegate." The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to give me a new cash flow estimate for your project." Dilbert replies, "Okay, fine." The Boss asks, "When will I get it?" Dilbert asks, "When do you need it?" The Boss says, "As soon as possible!" Dilbert says, "Okay." The Boss asks, "When do you think that will be?" Dilbert turns and says, "I usually wait a few days to see if you change your mind." Dilbert continues, "Then I'll give you last year's cash flow as a test to see if you read it." The Boss leaves the cubicle and thinks, "The more experience they get, the worse they are."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teach elbonians, #cobol, #reschedule, #send wally, #dilbert doesn't know cobol

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands with The Boss. Dilbert's arms are raised in anger. Dilbert says, "Why are sending ME to teach cobol to the Elbonians? Wally is the one who knows cobol, not me." The Boss says, "Wally said he's busy that day." Dilbert says, "Can't you reschedule the class." The Boss says, "Okay... does tomorrow work for you?" Dilbert raises his clenched fists. Dilbert says, "YOU"RE SOLVING THE WRONG PROBLEM!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #snoring, #bed, #use both nostrils, #enjoy yelling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies in bed, under the covers. Dogbert stands on Dilbert's stomach. Dogbert says, "I can no longer hold this inside." Dogbert says, "You call that breathing??! Get the other nostril involved!" Dogbert walks away. Dogbert wags his tail. Dogbert thinks, "I wonder if he'll ever realize that I just enjoy yelling."