Executive Board Meeting Comic Strips - Page 15

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View 141 - 150 results for executive board meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Executive Board Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Succession Plan

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Ceo Succession Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inheritance & succession, #insulting, #strategy, #loser, #incompetent, #honor, #be considered

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CEO: The board is getting on me for not having a succession plan. Find me a loser who is so incompetent that the board won't want to fire me. Boss: It's an honor to even be considered! Catbert: I was going to say that!

Dilbert Meets The Mom

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Dilbert Meets The Mom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #low standards, #meeting people, #parents, #mother, #efficiency, #ebola, #shake hands, #Family, #relationships

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Woman: Mom, this my date, Dilbert. He only wears tube clothes. Dilbert: For the efficiency. Whoa! Before I touch that paw, have you been to any Ebola hot spots lately? Woman: He has a job. Dilbert: My time has come!

Carol Says Dilbert Had A Vacuuming Accident

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Carol Says Dilbert Had A Vacuuming Accident - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excuses, #lying, #tardiness, #traffic, #vacuum, #freak accident, #vacuuming naked, #bad traffic

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Carol: Dilbert called to say he'd be late for your meeting. He said something about having a freak accident while vacuuming naked. Dilbert: Did you tell him traffic was bad? Carol: More or less.

No More Than Eight People In A Meeting

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No More Than Eight People In A Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #autobiography, #executives, #ghost writers, #quote, #quotes, #co author, #meetings, #rules

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Dilbert: Your rule is that no more than eight people should attend a meeting, so I can't let you sit down. CEO: When did I say that? Dilbert: It was in a book you co-wrote. CEO: I knew I should have skimmed that thing. Dilbert: Your unknown co-author is quite wise.

Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package

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Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avarice, #compensation, #executives, #golden parachute, #greed, #money, #wages

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Dogbert the CEO. Catbert: The board has approved a $100 million golden parachute if you quit now. Dogbert: $100 million?!!! How am I supposed to live on that? You insult me! Catbert: That's a lot of money for doing nothing. Dogbert: Bah! I spend more than that on soft cheese.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #egyptians, #engineers, #human resources, #pyramids, #pharoahs, #secrets, #reschedule, #meeting, #historically accurate, #new policy, #business

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Catbert: Egyptian pharaohs killed the engineers who build their pyramids so they would never share their secrets. Dilbert: No... I don't think they did. Catbert: Really? Dang! Can we reschedule this meeting until I find a historically accurate explanation of our new policy?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phones, #distraction, #frustration, #multitasking, #phone, #smart phones, #playing, #karma, #wishing death

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Dilbert: I would like to thank each of you for playing with your phones and not listening to a word I said all meeting. I hope karma is a real thing and frozen lavatory debris from airplanes kills each of you. Alice: What was he going on about? Wally: Beats me. I'm not much of a multitasker.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #investor, #investors, #pick up lines, #start up idea, #funding, #saturday night drinks, #date

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Alice: An angel investor agreed to meet with me about my start-up idea. Dilbert: You need to be careful because he might be... Alice: We're meeting for drinks at his house on Saturday night. Dilbert: I'm socially inept and even I know that sounds wrong. Alice: He keeps texting to say he can't wait to fund me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #thinking, #mental energy, #executive attention, #brain network, #dangerous territory, #surpasses last remnets, #sociala awreness, #misread social cues

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Wally: He transferred all of his mental energy to the executive attention network of his brain to solve a problem. This is dangerous territory for an engineer because it suppresses the last remnants of his social awareness. Expect him to misread social cues. Dilbert: They're here to kill me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #technology problem, #executive attention netowrk, #social awareness, #radical change, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: I have to warn you that I'll be going deep on a technology problem today. I'll be using the executive attention network of my brain at the expense of my social awareness. Boss: Sounds like a radical change. Dilbert: I can't tell if that was sarcasm.