Garbage Man Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Garbage Man

View 141 - 150 results for garbage man comic strips. Discover the best "Garbage Man" comics from Dilbert.com.

Avoid Offending Sensitive Idiots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Avoid Offending Sensitive Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags politeness, etiquette, communication, sensitive, feelings, offense, political correctness, politically correct

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Avoid offending sensitive idiots whenever possible. Man: I'm a sensitive idiot and I find that offensive. Dogbert: It's okay in your case because you had it coming. Man: Good point. Carry on.

Add Feature To Legacy System

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Add Feature To Legacy System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags legacy, development, change, obstinacy, engineers, stalemate

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Wally, I need you to add a feature to the legacy system while we wait for the new software to go live. Wally: My job is to prevent people such as you from adding features to our legacy system. Man: But it's my job to make you do it. Wally: One of us has a terrible job.

Resources Complain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Resources Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags leadership, language, jargon, manager

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I want to lodge a complaint against Dilbert. He called me a "resource." I find that offensive. Boss: Then he offended one of the resources. CEO: You're right. He does sound like a natural leader.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, analogy, false equivalence, frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: The bad analogy guy. Dilbert: And that's why I want to rewrite that part of the software. Man: That's like closing the barn door after the horse gets out. Dilbert: No, it isn't anything like that. I just think the current software could bet better. Man: So it's like throwing away the baby with the bathwater. Dilbert: No, it is not like that even a little! Man: You sound exactly like Hitler. That can't be a coincidence. Dilbert: Nothing you say makes sense! Man: That's like saying the earth is flat.

The Illusion Of Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Illusion Of Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: It's easier to create the illusion of work than it is to do actual work. That's why I carry this red folder with me wherever I go. Man: Can you attend a design meeting at two? Wally: Ooh... I wish I could, but I'm behind on the red file.

Rather Eat Garbage

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Rather Eat Garbage - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags choosing, choices, boredom, listening, trash, garbage, suffering

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Would you rather eat garbage or listen to our boss talk about his weekend? Dilbert: I'd have to know more about the garbage to make that decision. Wally: Let's say it's mostly kitchen stuff. Dilbert: Am I eating it from the can or fighting birds for it?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human, human nature, arguing, argument, social media, logic, critic, troll, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: If we move this button to here, people are more likely to see it. Man: Ha ha! OMG. LOL. So you think every person in the universe is blind? I can't wait to tell everyone that Dilbert thinks people have no eyes. The pure craziness of what you are saying is mid-boggling. Do you have any scientific proof that moving that button would not cause a nuclear holocaust? Dilbert: Everything you just said is dumb and unproductive, and I hate every molecule in your useless body. What's wrong with people? Dogbert: I keep tell you, it's everything.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jargon, speech, words, nonsense, training, trainee, strategy, laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I want you to train our new hire. Wally: The first thing you need to know is that we never use the DPX system when the MGB is down. Man: The... what and the what? Wally: Hold your questions till the end. You can use our PX4 to tunnel into the B9 data and produce at TMNP report. But you'll need authorization from the LDG and the MICOO. Man: I don't understand any of that! Wally: I toldy you to hold your questions until the end. Always remember to jost the primpram whenever the gip is fleeming toward kilp. Man: Maybe I should ask someone else to train me. Wally: Now we're making progress.

Asok's Body Double

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok's Body Double - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags arrest, hit man, mistaken identity, body double, doppelganger

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I thought you got arrested for killing the creator of Garfield's body double. Asok: Almost. They arrested my body double. Alice: Why do you have a body double? Asok: It's for situations like this.

Body Doubles Are People Too

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Body Doubles Are People Too - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hit man, murder, mistaken identity, doppelganger

View Transcript

Transcript

Cop: Asok, you are under arrest for murdering the creator of Garfield's body double. Asok: That's not fair! It wasn't even a real person! It was a body double! Cop: Actually, body doubles are human beings, too. Asok: You're going to arrest me on a technicality?