Goes As Planned Comic Strips - Page 15

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153 Results for Goes As Planned

View 141 - 150 results for goes as planned comic strips. Discover the best "Goes As Planned" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complicated, create chart, decision process, plan, question, talking about chart, wasting money

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"This chart shows the decision process we're using for my project." "Here we're wasting money. Then someone said, 'hey, let's create a complicated chart.' Now we're at this meeting, talking about the chart." "I have a question." "Great...there goes the plan."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags good inertia, marketing department, project, under funded, uniformed decision, take blame

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The Boss: How's your project coming along? Dilbert: Its under-funded and doomed. But Ive got some goof inertia going and Im setting the marketing department up to take the blame. The Boss: I feel like I should be doing something here. Dilbert: Ive got you planned to make an uniformed decision next week.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stealth business suit, sound dampers, sticky note, special polymers, phone, pager, happiest man, Sunday

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Dilbert: "I invented a stealth business suit to avoid assignments at work today." "What do you think, Dogbert?" Dogebrt: ________ Dilbert: "Ha Ha! My sound dampers have cancelled you out!" "Now watch what happens if somebody tries to attach a little yellow sticky note to me." "See! Nothing sticks to the special polymers!" Dogbert;__________ "And my wireless phone and pager are encased in lead, so they can't detect incoming calls." "Well, I'm off to 'work'. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!" Dogbert: "There goes the happiest man who ever forgot it was Sunday."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sharing meeting, project, pathetic series, poorly planned, random acts, emotional desparation, things are fine, need a hug

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The Boss: "Let's go around the table and give an update on each of our projects." Man: "My project is a pathetic series of poorly planned, near-random acts. My life is a tragedy of emotional desperation." The boss: "It's more or less customary to say things are going fine." Man: "I think I need a hug."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags carol, the boss, secretary, crossbow, hunt, moby dick, harpooned, capsized, desk

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Carol: The "secretary with a crossbow" goes on the hunt. Moby dick! Dilbert: You've been harpooned again, sir. The Boss: yeah, but I capsized her desk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, Dogbert, ted, alice, award, co workers

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The Boss and Dilbert stand in front of a room of people. The Boss says, "The award for best attendance goes to Dilbert." Dilbert says, "I'd like to thank the people who made this possible." Dilbert continues, "First, I'd like to thank the women in the company who have rejected me over the years . . ." Dilbert continues, "Because of them I have no germ-riddled children to infect me." Dilbert continues, "And thanks to my co-workers for never telling me about important meetings, thus keeping my germ exposure to a minimum." Dilbert continues, "And thanks to my boss for never assigning a project important enough to induce stress and weaken my immune system." Dilbert continues, "But what makes this award special is that each of you had to get sick in order for me to win." Dilbert arrives at home and says, "When you have your health, you have everything, Dogbert." Dogbert replies, "No, you also have to gloat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ratbert, Dogbert, evolving, flying, rat, arms, flatter, parents, million, years, natural, advantage, wings, happiest

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Ratbert says to Dogbert, "I think I'm evolving into a flying rat." Ratbert continues, "I noticed that my arms are flatter than my parents' arms. In a million years this natural advantage will become wings!" Dogbert says as Ratbert walks away, "There goes the happiest rat I know." Ratbert flaps his arms and thinks, "Too soon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, crew, investigate, television, healing, scam, money, interview

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Dogbert sits at a desk counting bags of money and humming. Dilbert says, "A news crew is here to investigate your television healing scam." Dogbert sits in a chair across from a reporter and a tv camera. The reporter says, "Explain to our 40 million viewers where the money actually goes." Dogbert replies, "Send those checks to Dogbert, post office box . . ." The reporter thinks, "Maybe I phrased that wrong."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dogbert, consultant, suffering, pain, severance pay

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Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I need an outside consultant like you to help with layoffs." The Boss continues, "My main concern is to minimize the pain and hardship that goes with this." Dogbert asks, "With generous severance pay?" The Boss replies, "No, I think that would only make my pain and suffering worse."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, self, service, curve, pumps, figure

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Dogbert stands in front of several men and says, "Dogbert's School for Self-Service Gas Station Attendants will not be easy." Dogbert says, "Phillips! What would you do if a customer couldn't figure out how to use the pumps?" Phillips answers, "Nothing. It's self-service." The man sitting next to him thinks, "Great . . . there goes the curve."