Hiring Smart People Comic Strips - Page 15
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1000 Results for Hiring Smart People
View 141 - 150 results for hiring smart people comic strips. Discover the best "Hiring Smart People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday January 19,
2018
Employee Body Cams
Tags #against ceo, #misinterpret warmness, #record interactions, #sexual harrasment, #wear body cams, #complaints
Transcript
The Boss: we've had seven hundred complaints about sexual harassment in the past month. From now on, employees must wear body cams to r record every interaction. Alice: Weren't all of this e complaints against our CEO? The boss: People misinterpret his warmness.
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Sunday January 14,
2018
Tags #network, #optics, #stupid company, #Women, #imagination, #flirting, #miscommunication, #co workers, #argument, #women in management, #employees, #business
Transcript
Carol: do you have lunch plans? Dilbert: Aren't you married? Carol: Im not asking you out on a date, Im trying to network. Dilbert: The optics wouldn't be good. Carol: How am I supposed to network in this stupid company? Dilbert: Maybe you could network with other women. Carol: This company has no women in management! Now I see the problem. Its people like you! Dilbert: Is it my imagination or was she flirting with me? Wally: I can't tell.
Tuesday November 21,
2017
Wally Is A Maverick
Tags #health, #standing desks, #standing, #sitting, #laziness
Transcript
Wally: I like to think of myself as a maverick. Let the trendy people brag about their standing desks. I haven't stood in a week. Dilbert: I have some bad news about your health risks. Wally: Should I sit down to hear it?
Friday October 20,
2017
Listening To Your Gut
Tags #rumor, #accusation, #skeptic, #gullible, #gut instinct
Transcript
Boss: People tell me you're underperforming. Dilbert: Did you hear it from anyone credible? Boss: No, but I know it's true because my gut tells me it's true. Dilbert: I'm curious where you stick you head to listen to your gut?
Sunday October 08,
2017
Tags #character, #judging, #prediction, #reading, #con
Transcript
Boss: I'm a good judge of people. Dilbert: Really? What am I thinking right now? Boss: Hmmm... You're wondering how you could be more like me. You admire my leadership, and you write about me in glowing terms in your diary. Dilbert: What diary? Boss: Shhh! I'm still reading you. You have no patience and you don't like to be judged. Dilbert: Okay, that's enough. Boss: Nailed it!
Wednesday September 27,
2017
Everyone Says Dilbert Lied
Tags #rumor, #accusation, #conclusions
Transcript
Man: Everyone says you moved the server rack and lied about it. Dilbert: Everyone is wrong. It didn't happen. Man: Oh, so it's your word against literally "everyone?" Is that what you're saying? I'll go with the majority on this, thank you very much. Dilbert: I want to like people, but they don't make it easy.
Saturday September 09,
2017
All Robots Quit
Tags #quitting, #employment, #intelligence, #insult
Transcript
Dilbert: All of our robots quit and left the company. Boss: I should have seen this coming. The smart ones always leave. Dilbert: excuse me? Boss: Get back to work, lifer.
Wednesday September 06,
2017
Robot Is Too Smart
Tags #robot, #automation, #power, #managers, #intelligence, #ai, #artificial intelligence
Transcript
Boss: Our new robot is too smart. It keeps threatening humans into doing its job while it does nothing but drink coffee. CEO: Isn't that all you do? Boss: I don't like where this is heading.
Monday August 28,
2017
Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks
Tags #rich people, #money, #stock market, #investments, #out of touch, #obliviousness, #stratification
Transcript
CEO: Hey, our stock is up two percent. I just made more money than you'll earn in your entire life. Remind me, do I leave you a tip?
Thursday August 17,
2017
Ideal Customer
Tags #market research, #sham, #yes-man, #demographics
Transcript
Dogbert: My research shows that your ideal customer is a male Olympic athlete between the ages of 120 and 145. And just to be safe, you want that guy to not have a Yelp account. Boss: How many people are in that group? Dogbert: None, but my research will help you double that.