Money Comic Strips - Page 15
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612 Results for Money
View 141 - 150 results for money comic strips. Discover the best "Money" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday November 20,
2014
Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package
Tags avarice, compensation, executives, golden parachute, greed, money, wages
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO. Catbert: The board has approved a $100 million golden parachute if you quit now. Dogbert: $100 million?!!! How am I supposed to live on that? You insult me! Catbert: That's a lot of money for doing nothing. Dogbert: Bah! I spend more than that on soft cheese.
Wednesday November 19,
2014
Wally Does Ceo Job For 10%
Tags deception, money, wages, work ethic, annual pay, deal, split work, salary, work percentage, pass the buck
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO. Dogbert: I will give you 10% of my annual pay if you do 100% of my job for me. 10% of my pay as CEO is still a lot of money. Wally: I'll do it. I'll give you 10% of what he's paying me if you do 100% of his work plus mine. It's still a lot of money. Asok: I'm in!
Friday November 14,
2014
Hiring A Co Ceo
Tags ceos, executives, wages, work ethic, co ceo, break tie, manioulate, pay, hire, split salary, money
Transcript
CEO: I decided to hire a co-CEO to share the job with me. Dilbert: I assume you know that having a co-CEO does not mean you get paid the same while working half as much. CEO: Can I fire you? Co-CEO: No, we need a third CEO to break the tie.
Sunday September 21,
2014
Tags deception, executives, ignorance, money, powerpoint, project unicron, progress, style, substitute for subsatnce, worker bee, executives rspond, clouds, dollar signs, slow clap
Transcript
Boss: Make a PowerPoint deck showing our progress on Project Unicorn. Dilbert: There hasn't been any progress. Boss: That's okay. Use a large font. Dilbert: Style is not a substitute for substance. Boss: You're thinking like a worker bee. There's no time for substance when you're at the top. Executives only respond to familiar colors and shapes. Clouds, dollar signs... that sort of thing. Dilbert: ...and in conclusion. Boss: Come on slow clap.
Tuesday September 16,
2014
Tags choosing, wages, scientific reaserch, happiness, more money, renounce science, el gato diablo, psychology, money
Transcript
Catbert: According to scientific research, your happiness will not increase if you make more money. Therefore, I can only authorize a raise for you if you renounce science. Say it! Say you renounce science! Dilbert: El gato diablo!
Sunday August 03,
2014
Tags venture capitalists, reputation of the angel, angel investors, skill of engineers, huge raise, big chicken
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you know what venture capitalists care about when they make investment decisions? They care about the reputation of the angel investors who already put money in. DO you know what the angel investors care about? They care about the skill of the engineers. Therefore, you should give me a huge raise or else I'll quit and do my own start -up. BOSS: GO ahead you big chicken. Your going to die poor! HAHAHA!! Dilbert: That was harsh. Boss: and yet you didn't resign . any more questions?
Tuesday July 29,
2014
Tags avarice, business ethics, stock market, stock split, dumb stock holders, fantastic prodcuts, money
Transcript
CEO: The board has voted to do a stock split. It came down to a choice between creating fantastic products or attracting dumber stockholders. One of those two things is easy.
Friday July 18,
2014
Tags laziness, money, billion dollars, stop working, self defeating
Transcript
Dilbert: If you made a billion dollars, would you stop working? Wally: How would I make a billion dollars? Dilbert: You would have to start working. Wally: It seems sort of self-defeating.
Wednesday July 16,
2014
Tags money, trees, computer model, genetically modify, tree growth, rare earth minerals, run a trail, money dents grow on trees, fault
Transcript
Dilbert: My computer model indicates that I can genetically modify a tree to grow leaves made of rare earth minerals. All I need is a hundred dollars to run a trial. Boss: Sorry. Money doesn't grow on trees. Dilbert: Well, now we know whose fault that is. Boss: Strangers?
Monday July 14,
2014
Tags money, rich people, being rich, income inequality, happy, networth, thousand times, 800 times, net worth
Transcript
Dogbert: I like a lot of things about being rich, but I like the income inequality the best. It makes me happy to know that my net worth is about a thousand times more than yours. Dilbert: It's actually closer to 800 times my net worth. Dogbert: You ruined it!!!


