More Valid Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

957 Results for More Valid

View 141 - 150 results for more valid comic strips. Discover the best "More Valid" comics from Dilbert.com.

Being More Honest

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Being More Honest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing, #advertising, #honesty, #cover-up, #performance, #shortcoming, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My tests show we underperform our competition on nine out of eleven dimensions. Boss: Give the two good ones to Marketing. We can't be more honest than that. Dilbert: I'm almost certain we can. Boss: No, we really can't.

Commemorating Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Commemorating Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ravine, #meanness, #insult, #idiot, #guest artist, #brenna thummler

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: We're having a get-together to commemorate Ted, who drove his car into a ravine because you said he should. Dilbert: He wasn't good at handling criticism. Carol: You could have been more constructive. Dilbert: By building a bridge over the ravine?

Random Number Generator

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Random Number Generator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #projection, #money, #prediction, #unrealistic expectations, #numbers, #obliviousness, #guest artist, #donna oatney

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you get me more details on the financial projections? Dilbert: Sure. I wrote an app that generates random numbers, just in case you asked for them. Boss: 17, 4, 962... Yes, this looks about right.

Bring Me Solutions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bring Me Solutions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #managers, #useless, #double standard, #guest artist, #donna oatney

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't bring me problems. Bring me solutions! Dilbert: That would make you more useless than you already are. Boss: I also need you to fill out your own performance evaluation.

Asok Negotiates With Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Negotiates With Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compensation, #haggle, #money, #negotiating, #negotiation, #obliviousness, #salary, #trick, #eric scott

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I demand a ten-million-dollar raise! Boss: Nice try! Every idiot knows that's your opening offer to set an anchor. Asok: I will settle for half of it. Boss: You'll take 30 percent of that, and not a penny more!

Asok Is Not A Terrorist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Is Not A Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #muslim, #islam, #terrorist, #terrorism, #assume, #assumption, #appearances, #racism, #racist, #bigot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you a terrorist? Asok: Why does everyone keep asking me that? Boss: You look like one. Asok: Well, I'm not, you racist. Boss: Is it more of a sympathizer situation? Asok: Stop radicalizing me!

Meetings Are Dense

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Meetings Are Dense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #time, #perception, #joke, #insult, #stupid, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: According to Einstein, time flows more slowly in meetings than it does in empty space. That's because people are dense. Boss: Is that true? Alice: For you it is.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sexism, #sexist, #misogyny, #conversation, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: You give Wally your full attention when he talks, but not me. You hang on every word the man says. But if I try to talk, you act distracted in five seconds. Wally gets more eye contact, too. You don't even look at me half the time I'm talking. Deep down, in your DNA, you know you are a sexist because you don't take me seriously when I speak to you. There is no other explanation, so don't insult me by trying. Dilbert: I give both of you the same amount of attention, but you spread it over more words. Alice: I hate both of you. Dilbert: Did I play that wrong? Wally: Yup.

Almost Done With Software

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Almost Done With Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #procrastination, #work ethic, #excuse, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Is the software almost done? Wally: Yes, almost. Not the final release-- more like a beta MVP. Maybe more of an alpha. Boss: Have you even started? Wally: The mental stuff is almost done.

That's Motivation Not Stalking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
That's Motivation Not Stalking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compliment, #managers, #jargon, #sincerity, #insincere, #motivation, #motivate, #annoyance, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, you're doing a great job and the company values you. Alice: Your insincere management babble is making me uncomfortable. Boss: That's motivation you're feeling. Alice: I'm getting more of a stalker vibe.