New Boss Is Posessed Comic Strips - Page 15
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1000 Results for New Boss Is Posessed
View 141 - 150 results for new boss is posessed comic strips. Discover the best "New Boss Is Posessed" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 21,
2020
Tweets Do Not Represent Employer
Tags business, employment, managers & supervisors, technology, tweet, tweets, object, smart, useful
Transcript
boss: i object to your twitter profile. it says... "my tweets are smart and useful, so obviously they do not represent my employer." Wally chocking on coffee: smorph! dilbert pointing: now see what you did to wally.
Sunday December 20,
2020
Wally Makes A Suggestion
Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, product idea, idea, debunk
Transcript
wally: did you see my brilliant product idea i emailed to you? boss: yes, i already debunked it in my mind. wally: perhaps you could share your reasons. boss: if it's such a great idea. why isn't someone else doing it? and if someone is already doing it, we are far too late. in order for your idea to be good, i would have to think you are smarter than everyone in the industry. and seriously, just look at you. anyone else have an idea? others: nope. nope, never. nope.
Saturday December 19,
2020
Alice Is Honest
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, goals, quarter, unrealistic, honest
Transcript
boss: alice, you did not meet your goals this quarter. alice: that's because my goals are totally unrealistic and were created by a.moron. i hope you meant it when you said you want us to be honest with you. boss: i didn't expect you to act on it!
Friday December 18,
2020
Bad Attitude
Tags business, technology, work, exceptional, complain, attitude, bad, dislike, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: your work has been exceptional, but people are complaining about your attitude. dilbert: aren't the people who are doing the complaining usually the ones with bad attitudes. boss: they think you dislike them. dilbert: i do, but i have a terrific attitude about it.
Thursday December 17,
2020
Motivosity Bucks
Tags business, technology, working, weekend, employment, bucks, money, motivosity
Transcript
boss: thanks for working all weekend to get the project done, dilbert. i award you two motivosity bucks. dilbert: i like real money better. boss: that just cost you two motivosity bucks.
Wednesday December 16,
2020
Ted And His Laptop
Tags managers & supervisors, employment, fired, laptop, technology
Transcript
boss: today is your last day with the company, ted. so i need your company laptop back. ted: or else what? you'll fire me twice? boss: let's say you're not officially fired until you return the laptop. ted: and if i don't bring it back, will i never be fired? boss: um...
Tuesday December 15,
2020
Ted Reimagined More
Tags managers & supervisors, business, employment, unnecessary, job, budget, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: when i say we need to reimagine your job, it means we no longer need anyone to do what you have been doing. ted: do you mind if i ask when you first realized that my job was totally unnecessary? boss: it was four years ago, but you seemed happy, and we had the budget to pay you, so...
Monday December 14,
2020
Reimagine Ted's Job
Tags boring, business, job, new, pay, projects, reimagine, technology, compensation
Transcript
boss: ted, we need to reimagine your job. ted: i hope that means you will replace the boring parts of my job with exciting new projects. boss: it doesn't mean that. boss: does it mean doing the same work for higher pay?
Sunday December 13,
2020
Assigning Dilbert To Project
Tags business, technology, network, redesign, project, phase, positive, optimistic, assign, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: dilbert, i'm assigning you to the network redesign project. dilbert: what phase is that project in? is it in the initial stage, in which everyone is feeling positive and optimistic? or is it in the middle phase, in which everyone is finding away and hating the other team members? boss: it's in the death spiral phase. everyone is trying to assign blame to someone they already hate. they requested that i add you to the team. dilbert: to save the project? boss: um...okay, sure.
Friday December 11,
2020
Trust Coworkers
Tags business, managers & supervisors, trust, pretend, different
Transcript
in office building boss: okay, team. we can get this done if we trust each other. alice: that's not a thing. dilbert: i don't trust any of you. boss: maybe we can pretend. dilbert: i'd need to pretend we're different people.