Problem Getting Dressed Comic Strips - Page 15

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742 Results for Problem Getting Dressed

View 141 - 150 results for problem getting dressed comic strips. Discover the best "Problem Getting Dressed" comics from Dilbert.com.

Understanding The Problem

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Understanding The Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #wisdom, #criticism, #bad advice, #executives, #success

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CEO Wisdom. Asok: Can you teach me to be a success? CEO: Yes, obviously. Stop everything you're doing now because it clearly isn't working. Asok: That's it? CEO: Understanding the problem is half the solution.

Robots Read News Of Supreme Court Ruling

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Robots Read News Of Supreme Court Ruling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #supreme court, #partisan politics, #engineers, #morals, #legislation, #conservatism, #liberal, #guilt, #innocence

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Robots Read News. Robot: The Supreme Court ruled that engineers cannot be found guilty of murder. Lawyers argued that any good engineer knows how to get away with murder, so getting caught is proof of innocence. The ruling was unanimous because no one could figure out which side was the liberal one.

Solving Problems In Interviews

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Solving Problems In Interviews - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #trick, #thinking, #problem

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Job Interview. Boss: Tell me your process for solving this sort of problem. Man: I would ignore it for a week and likely discover that it wasn't important in the first place. If it still matters after a week, I would hold fake job interviews and ask people how to solve it. Boss: Apparently, that doesn't work.

Attendance Strategy

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Attendance Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #attendance, #Advice, #mentor, #mentoring

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Wally: Ideally, you want to find a job that requires more attendance than work. And then you want to concoct an endless string of "reasons" you can't come to work. The ultimate goal is getting paid for being nothing but a concept. Asok: I bask in your wisdom.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #problems, #talking, #solution, #obliviousness, #criticism, #honesty

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Boss: Why didn't you tell me our biggest vendor pulled out of the deal? Dilbert: If I told you my problems, you would suggest solutions. Your solutions generally don't make sense. But you are my boss, so I would be obliged to waste time looking into your suggestions. So if you try to solve my problem, I will have two problems instead of one. Boss: Sometimes my ideas are good! Right? Dilbert: That is a dangerous way to think.

The Boredom Of Living Off The Grid

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The Boredom Of Living Off The Grid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiding, #grid, #off the grid, #bored, #bore, #boredom, #Entertainment

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Dilbert: The government will never find me off the grid. G-Man 1: He went off the grid. G-Man 2: Problem solved. The boredom will kill him in two days. Dilbert: Looking at a stick. Still looking at a stick.

Wally's Hobby

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Wally's Hobby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compliment, #insult, #backhanded compliment, #hobby, #obliviousness, #deception

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Wally: Your strategy looks like a genius way to fight the last war. Boss: Thank you. Wally: No problem. You owe me a compliment. At what point does insulting your boss and getting away with it count as a hobby?

List Of Known Problems

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List Of Known Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joke, #insult, #misanthrope, #misanthropy

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Alice: Did you get the link I sent you for our company directory? Boss: I didn't ask for that. I asked for a list of known problem... Oh. Not funny. Alice: Then how do you explain this?

Alice Disposes Of Excess Robot Inventory

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Alice Disposes Of Excess Robot Inventory - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #destruction, #anger, #therapy, #catharsis, #robot, #psychology

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Boss: I want you to get rid of that 3-D printed robot that looks and acts like me. Dilbert: No problem. Alice takes care of all the excess robot inventory. Alice: I don't always have passion for my work, but today is looking good.

Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner

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Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #replication, #technology, #clone, #playing god, #doppelganger

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Dilbert: My invention can scan the human brain and duplicate it in software. I combined that technology with a 3-D printer that makes human body parts. Boss: What does it all do? Replicant: He's getting to the good part.