Service Business Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Service Business

View 141 - 150 results for service business comic strips. Discover the best "Service Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

Industry Trends

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Industry Trends - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, industry, trend, luck, act, fast, change, increase, profits, advantage, future, bogus, training, program, company

View Transcript

Transcript

in board room. boss: industry trends just turned our way by total luck. we have to act fast! i need to implement some kind of change so it looks as if i caused the increase in profits that will happen anyway. does anyone have any ideas? dilbert: no, because we're already perfectly situated to take advantage of the trend. boss upset: that doesn't help me! i can't take credit for our future profits unless i do something i can say made a difference. dilbert: maybe you could implement some sort of bogus company culture training program. one week later. dogbert presenting on a stage: it's important to realize you're all idiots.

Asok Isolates Too Well

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Isolates Too Well - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, socially isolating, society, shock, system, elbow bump, reverse, silliness, murderer

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: asok has been socially isolating too well. we need to ease him back into society with out shocking his system. dilbert: how about a reverse elbow bump? can you do that? asok in something similar to a yellow space suit: (yelling) murderer!

Gaming The System

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Gaming The System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, decision, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, wrong, believe, system, project

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: ted says you are making all the wrong technology decisions on your project. dilbert: why do you believe him? boss: because he's the last person i talked to. dilbert: but now you're talking to me. boss: stop trying to game the system.

Elbonian Virus

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Virus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, health & safety, office workers, pandemic, elbonian, virus, kill, beards, fuzzy, hat, made

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: the elbonian virus has reached pandemic proportions. elbonian: just because a virus doesn't kill people with beards and tall, fuzzy hats, that doesn't mean it was made in elbonia. dilbert: was it made in elbonia? elbonian: yes, but i think my point still stands.

Virus From Where

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Virus From Where - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, health & safety, office workers, virus, beard, fuzzy, hat, country, release, luxembourg, elbonian

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: there's a new virus that kills everyone who doesn't have a beard and a tall, fuzzy hat. wally: what country would release a virus like that? elbonian man: i'm hearing bad things about luxembourg.

Disagree With Experts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Disagree With Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, disagree, respect, experts, happy, criticism, enjoy, attention

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: every time i hear you disagreeing with the experts, i lose a little respect for you. dilbert: are you saying you once had respect for me? tina crying and yelling: stop being happy about my criticisms! dilbert: why can't i enjoy the attention?

Fraud Presenter

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fraud Presenter  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, presentation, incorrect, fraud, exposed, resignation, immediate, meeting, won

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker making a presentation with graph. wally: is it a coincidence that the only part of your presentation i understand is also clearly wrong? co-worker: well, you caught me. i'm actually a fraud. i offer my resignation, effective immediately. goodbye. wally to dilbert: this is the first time i ever won a meeting. i have to say, it feels good.

Dogbert Is Doctor Of Impossible

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Is Doctor Of Impossible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boring, business, cure, diseases, doctor, fail, headache, ice-cold bath, impossible, improvement, medical, prescribe, sarcasm, treatments, health and wellnes

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i'm dogbert, doctor of the impossible. boss: does that mean you cure diseases that are believed to be impossible to cure? dogbert: no, that sounds boring. i prescribe treatments that are impossible to follow. when you fail you don't get better. you'll think it's your own fault. boss: how does that help anyone but you? dogbert: hey, i'm not the one who brought it up. boss: you're giving me a headache. dogbert: to cure that, i suggest ice-cold baths every six minutes.

The Boss Has An Idea

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Boss Has An Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, managment, worldwide, obvious, implement, smart, people, remote, work, idea

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: looks like my idea of remote work is being implemented by management all over the world. dilbert: i don't think that was "our idea" so much as totally obvious to every thinking person. boss: well, maybe. but would they have implemented it? dilbert: i'm going to talk to smart people now.

Boss Gets Vaccinated

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Gets Vaccinated - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, virus, covid-19, vaccine, vaccination, toxic, soup, deadly, neener

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i got the covid-19 vaccination, so i'm feeling safe. i feel sorry for you unvaccinated people who are marinating in a toxic soup of deadly viruses. dilbert: thank you for your concern. boss: neener-neener.