Side Effects Comic Strips - Page 15
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168 Results for Side Effects
View 141 - 150 results for side effects comic strips. Discover the best "Side Effects" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 17,
1993
Tags garbageman, Dogbert, morals, phaser
Transcript
Dogbert says to the garbage man, "Dilbert won't build a phaser pistol for me. He thinks it's wrong to zap people for fun." The garbage man replies, "Yeah, that would be wrong . . . Unless the people you zap are themselves immoral, in which case you would be on the side of justice." Dogbert says, "I guess it's academic since I don't have a phaser." The garbage man says, "Here, borrow mine."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday June 26,
1993
Tags alice, the boss, coffee, squeeze
Transcript
The Boss lifts the coffee pot and Alice stands behind him waiting to get some coffee. Alice squeezes one side of the Boss's hair. The Boss's hair stands straight up. Alice says, "In retrospect, that was exactly the kind of temptation I should just ignore."
Monday May 31,
1993
Tags Dogbert, park bench, noriko, classes, lives, television, channels
Transcript
Dogbert and Noriko sit on a park bench. Noriko says, "I can't wait to grow up and get out of school." Dogbert says, "Actually, Noriko, your generation will have to take classes and work full-time your whole lives . . . Assuming any jobs exist." Dogbert continues, "But on the plus side, television will have a thousand channels." Noriko yells, "That's it; somebody's got some explaining to do!"
Sunday August 02,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, walk, nature, wonderful, planet, children, strangers, borrow, collateral, smoking, shell, overlooked, Environment, situation, want, selfish
Transcript
Dogbert and Dilbert walk through the park. Dilbert says, "Nature is so wonderful . . ." Dilbert continues, "They say we don't leave the planet to future generations, we borrow it from our children." Dogbert says, "It's even better than that." Dogbert continues, "WE don't have children, so we're borrowing the planet from complete strangers!" Dogbert continues, "And there's no collateral. We can use up the planet, have great lives and leave an empty smoking shell to the strangers!" Dogbert continues, "I tell you, people have completely overlooked the positive side of this environment situation." Dilbert says, "But someday I WANT to have children." Dogbert replies, "Let's hope they're not as selfish as you."
Sunday June 14,
1992
Tags Dogbert, confess, sinned, chocolate, chip, cookies, mistake, scarfed, bag, Comic, strips, dancing, community
Transcript
A small building is marked, "Dogbert's Confess-O-Rama." One door is labeled, "Employees Only" and the other is labeled, "Sinners." Dogbert sits on one side of a confessional and a man sits on the other. The man says, "Dogbert, I have sinned." The man continues, "I was going to make chocolate chip cookies . . ." The man continues, "But I made the mistake of tasting a chocolate chip right from the bag." The man continues, "Before I knew it, I had scarfed the entire bag of chips!" Dogbert says, "For penance you must make a little dunce hat from old "Cathy" comic strips . . ." Dogbert continues, "Then wear the little hat while dancing naked on your lawn with the sprinklers on." The man says, "Thank you, Dogbert." Dogbert turns to the reader and says, "It's so rewarding to be able to give something back to the community."
Sunday April 19,
1992
Tags Dilbert, look, car, most, important, anti-lock, breaks, reinforced, summer, automatic, passenger, side, air, bag
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a pillow listening to the radio. Dilbert says, "Dogbert, come look at our new car!" They stand next to an automobile. Dilbert says, "It has all of the most important safety features." Dilbert continues, "You got your anti-lock brakes, your reinforced bumpers, your automatic seatbelts and your driver-side air bag." Dogbert says, "I didn't hear 'passenger side air bag' in that list." Dilbert says, "It turns out that it's only economical to save the person who makes the buying decision." Dilbert says, "But I got a baby seat in case you want to use that." Dogbert says angrily, "Well, thank you for letting me choose between humiliation and death. I've got a better idea." Dogbert drives the car and Dilbert sits in the passenger seat. Dilbert says, "Ooh . . . Just wait until MY turn." Dogbert says, "Watch me ram that car."
Wednesday April 01,
1992
Tags Dogbert, tax, rebate, Dogs, only, fair, stimulate, economy, keynesian, free, market, boost, gnp, supply, side, curve, positive, vote, reel
Transcript
Dogbert sits across from the President's desk. Dogbert says, "So, Mister President, a tax rebate for dogs is the only fair way to stimulate the economy." Dogbert continues, "Because then you get a keynesian free market multiplier effect to boost your GNP up the supply side of the curve." The President asks, "Are you POSITIVE that dogs can vote?" Dogbert thinks, "Now, r-e-e-l him in . . ."
Friday March 27,
1992
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, find, reverse, roseanne, arnold, string, bikini, effects, hair, formula
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've got to find a way to reverse the effects of the hair growth formula." Dogbert says, "Imagine Roseanne Arnold in a string bikini." All of Dilbert's hair falls to the ground and he says, "Thanks." Dogbert replies, "No sweat."
Saturday December 21,
1991
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, chess, bishop, rook, friend, queen, uzi, purse, slays, scrabble, man
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table playing chess. Dilbert says, "Bishop takes rook. I have you now, my friend." As he sweeps the pieces off the game board, Dogbert says, "My queen has an Uzi in her purse. She slays your entire side." Dilbert says, "You did the same thing when we played Scrabble." Dogbert replies, "Take it like a man."
Thursday October 10,
1991
Tags Dilbert, elbonia, suitcase, luggage, m'lord, maintain, delicate, balance, nature, sire
Transcript
The caption says, "Dilbert lands in Elbonia without his suitcase." Dilbert lands head-first in the mud. Dogbert, who is holding a rifle and wearing a miter, sits on the back of an Elbonian. The Elbonian says, "You bagged a nice piece of luggage, M'Lord." A suitcase with a hole in the side of it lies in the mud. As they drag the suitcase behind them, Dogbert says, "I like to think this helps maintain the delicate balance of nature." The Elbonian says, "Yes, sire."

