Slap Yourself Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

223 Results for Slap Yourself

View 141 - 150 results for slap yourself comic strips. Discover the best "Slap Yourself" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #never thought, #organic pain, #racing toward oblivion, #self delusion, #key to happiness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, "The key to happiness is self-delusion." Dobert says to Dilbert, "Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing toward oblivion." Dilbert says, "I've never had that thought... Until now." Dogbert says, "Don't blame me; I said don't."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flight, #three am, #slap head, #uncross eyes, #coffee, #crazy, #alice crazy, #airplane, #travel airfare

View Transcript

Transcript

A frazzled-looking Alice says to Dilbert, "My flight didn't get in until three this morning." Alice asks Dilbert, "Would you mind slapping the back of my head until my eyes uncross?" As Dilbert stands behind Alice and raises a notebook to slap her, Alice pushes her coffee cup toward Asok the Intern. Alice says, "Pour all of your coffee in here and no one gets hurt."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation fairy, #magic wand, #enjoy working, #utter futility, #wally myth, #spell, #cast

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is sitting at his computer. A small winged person, hovering in the air behind him, says, "Hello, employee. I'm the Motivation Fairy." Wally sits up and listens as the Fairy says, "My magic wand will make you enjoy working despite the utter futility." Wally turns to the Fairy and says, "Knock yourself out." The Fairy replies, "Wally?! Gaa! I thought you were a myth!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #topper, #top you, #ruins system, #can't go first

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss is with another man. The Boss says, "Dilbert, meet Topper. He's amazing." Dilbert looks at The Boss and a smirking Topper. The Boss says, "No matter what you say about yourself, he'll top it." Dilbert says to Topper, "How are you?" The Boss looks at Topper as Topper says, "I can't go first. It ruins my system."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #huge demand, #laugh at yourself, #employes

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss puts his hand on Ted's back and says, "Ted, there's a huege demand for employees like you." The Boss continues, "Not you specifically...which is funny if you think about it." The Boss calls after him as he walks away, "Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #current version, #making changes, #slap forehead, #test software, #major changes

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss asks Dilbert, "Can you test the software today?" Dilbert answers, "No. I'm making major changes Tuesday." The Boss replies, "You could test the current version." Dilbert slaps his forehead exasperated at the Boss' response. The Boss looks at Dilbert and says to himself, "I wish people wouldn't slap their foreheads and say 'Aye-yi-yi-yi' every time I talk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #perfromance evaluation, #3% raise, #earn a billion, #steals as much

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Write a performance evaluation for yourself." The Boss continues, "Shoot for about 3% raise...because that's what you're getting." Dilbert's computer states, "Dilbert's inventions will earn a billion dollars. But we think he steals almost as much."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice date, #cafe, #dinner date, #drive boss nuts, #honesty, #indifference arouses, #using you, #vp and engineer

View Transcript

Transcript

VP: Alice, maybe we shouldn't date, Im a Vp and you're an engineer in my division. Alice: Sheesh, Get over yourself. IM just using you to drive my boss nuts, VP: Your indifference arouses me! I will make you mine! Alice: VPs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #learn new technology, #sales person, #everything he knows, #moist towelettes, #sponge bath

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need to take a class to learn the new technology." The Boss replies, "Our vendor's sales person will teach you everything he knows." The sales person begins explaining to Dilbert, who sits taking notes. "You only need 'three moist towelettes' to give yourself a sponge bath."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tiny dried peanut, #what would dogbert do, #what would dogbert do?, #god like, #worship, #dog worship, #friends, #ask yourself

View Transcript

Transcript

Walking down the street, Ratbert thinks to himself "At all times I ask myself, what would Dogbert do?" Ratbert also thinks, "Then it doesn't matter that my brain is the size of a tiny dried peanut." Ratbert pauses on the sidewalk with arms crossed and goes on to think, "That thought would make Dogbert hungry."