Special Project Comic Strips - Page 15

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733 Results for Special Project

View 141 - 150 results for special project comic strips. Discover the best "Special Project" comics from Dilbert.com.

Writing Code In Spare Time

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Writing Code In Spare Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #start-up, #labor, #free, #money, #trick, #bully

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Boss: Maybe you can help write some code in your spare time for my side project. Dilbert: Are you using your power to bully me into working for your start-up for free? Boss: You can also invest in it. Dilbert: Not better!

Ted Has A Bad Feeling

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Ted Has A Bad Feeling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #fired, #firing, #prognostication, #predict, #psychic, #complaining, #complaint, #prophecy

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Ted: I have a bad feeling about the direction of my project. Boss: You complain too much. You're fired. Dilbert: So... now you believe you can predict the future. Ted: Magic is real.

Not That Invested In Your Success

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Not That Invested In Your Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #communication, #excuse, #excuses

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Wally: I made no progress on your project because I was waiting to ask you some questions. Coworker: You could have emailed me. Or texted me. Or stopped by my desk. Wally: I"m not that invested in your success.

Four Hour Meeting

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Four Hour Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #decision, #decisions, #meeting, #meetings, #productivity, #time, #time management, #business

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Boss: Yesterday, in our four-hour meeting, we agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert: No, we agreed to use our existing vendor. Asok: I thought we agreed to cancel the whole project. Dilbert: We might need some clarity on this. Boss: Four more hours should do it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #sales, #price, #prices, #bidding, #bid, #blackmail, #business

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Dilbert: This is not the deal we agreed on. Man: I forgot a few things on the first estimate, but you need them. Dilbert: I only picked you because you had the lowest price. Man: Yes, but not the vendor selection is done and it would be too much trouble for you to start over. It might even damage your career because you delayed the project. You could go to the second-highest bidder, but those guys would do the same thing to you. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I have no choice! This is blackmail, not commerce! Man: We call it "sales." I'll need all the cash in your wallet, too.

Doomed Smartwatch Project

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Doomed Smartwatch Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2015's comic on:


Tags #analogy, #obliviousness, #assignment, #technology, #invention, #watch, #failure

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Boss: You'll be in charge of our smart watch project. Dilbert: ...that is doomed from the start. Boss: Stop being such a pessimist. Dilbert: Said General Custer to his horse. Boss: Why would he talk to his horse? Dilbert: Because even the horse knew something was wrong!

Rewarding Wally's Failures

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Rewarding Wally's Failures - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #failure, #excuse, #laziness, #justification, #reasoning, #excuses

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Wally: You should be celebrating my failures instead of punishing me for them. Failure is the raw material of success. If I am not failing, it means I am not pushing myself hard enough. Boss: Fine. What have you failed at? Wally: I failed to work on my project this month.

Wally Not A Fan Of Implementation

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Wally Not A Fan Of Implementation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #invention, #inventions, #design, #complication, #overthinking

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Wally: I asked the other engineers to help me develop my double-handed coffee mug invention. Now it is bloated with useless features and not dishwasher safe. Maybe you should cancel the project. Boss: Are you okay with that? Wally: I've never been a big fan of the implementation phase.

Useless Mansplainers

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Useless Mansplainers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #mansplainer, #relations between the sexes, #sexism, #Women, #engineers, #programmers, #furstration

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Alice: I can't get any work done because my project team is a bunch of useless mansplainers. Why do men feel the need to explain things to me when I know more than they do? Boss: Let me explain it to you, Alice. Men like to show off and feel important. Alice: Stop it!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #work, #google, #big business, #projects, #ideas, #innovation

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CEO: We're borrowing a policy from Google because they are so awesome. You may now use 20% of your workday on your own project ideas. Dilbert: Are you saying we can do 20% less work on our core functions? CEO: No, no. Nothing like that. I'm saying you can work on your own project ideas for 20% of your time. Dilbert: Okay... so... if the 20% doesn't come out of our work hours, where does it come from? Alice: I think he's trying to make us work 20% longer for the same amount of pay. Dilbert; We could just tell people we do it, but not do it. CEO: Same as Google! That's all I'm asking.