Technical Jargon Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

183 Results for Technical Jargon

View 141 - 150 results for technical jargon comic strips. Discover the best "Technical Jargon" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biggest prospect, #brain overload, #kenny sales weasel, #tech specs, #uses electricity, #car

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, you'll work with 'Kenny the sales-weasel' on our biggest prospect." Dilbert and Kenny get into a car. Kenny says, "Tell me all of our product's technical specs on the way. I like to be prepared." They ride in the car. Dilbert says, "Our product is beige. It uses electricity." Kenny says, "Whoa! Brain overload!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #guiding prciples, #network architecture, #obvious ideas, #techno jargon, #unclear writing, #suspenders, #muddles thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table with man who has a beard and is wearing suspenders. The man says, "I put together some guiding principles for our network architecture." Alice says, "I sure hope this isn't a bunch of obvious ideas disguised with techno-jargon and unclear writing." Dilbert whispers, "Let the games begin." Alice says to the man, "So tell me, do suspenders cause muddled thinking or is it the other way around?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #spelled wrong, #technical recommendation, #boss doubts dilbert, #obver shoulder, #computer, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I studied your technical recommendation and decided it's impossible." Dilbert replies, "I already did it." The Boss says, "It will never work." Dilbert replies, "It's working perfectly." The Boss points to the document and says, "You spelled this word wrong." Dilbert says, "That's a number."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer, #gulty, #insufficient light, #major sin, #prince, #tech writer, #unnatural attraction, #leverage synergies, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil the Ruler of Heck tells Tina, "You are guilty of being a technical writer with an unnatural attraction to an engineer." Phil leads Tina into Heck and says, "It's not a major sin, so you only go to Heck. I'm Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light." Phil leads Tina to a desk and says, "Sit down and type, 'I proactively leverage my synergies,' a hundred times." Tina screams, "No-o-o!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tina, #tech writer, #first draft, #boring, #presence of genius

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands Tina the Tech Writer a document and says, "Your first draft was boring, so I added a bunch of exclamation points." Tina reads the document and says, "Wow! Those exclamation points make this technical document come alive!" The Boss thinks, "This might be that sarcasm thing I keep hearing about." Tina hugs the document and cries, "I'm in the presence of genius! I beg you to father my children!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new sex symbols, #online personals, #tech prowness, #moonlit walks, #must like to dance, #applicants

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch using a laptop and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert says, "Men who understand technology are the new sex symbols. Your online personals ad should emphasize your technical prowess." Dilbert asks, "How about 'Looking for woman who likes moonlit walks so I'll have more time alone with my computer'?" Dilbert continues, "And 'Must like to dance.' That's so I won't get a flabby, uncoordinated applicant." Dogbert says, "Don't call them 'applicants' on the first date."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #strategic allaince, #technical skill, #endless supply, #resistance is futile, #assimilated

View Transcript

Transcript

A man with a goatee and a woman with spiked hair who's wearing a tube top enter a room with Dilbert. The man says, "Our strategic alliance is working well. My company provides amazing technical skill and your company . . ." The man continues, ". . . Has a seemingly endless supply of three-ring binders." They sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated." The woman asks, "Is it true that if your name is written in a binder you lose your soul?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #two day workshop, #mission, #vision, #useless jargon, #illiterate execustives, #mind numbing, #job security, #ethical behavior, #better idea, #high marks, #class evalutaion

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says, "In this two day workshop, you will learn to embrace our company's mission and vision." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit in the audience. The man continues, "At first glance it will appear to be a bunch of useless jargon created by functionally illiterate executives." The man continues, "But after we do some mind-numbing group exercises . . ." The man continues, ". . . You'll forget that you're underpaid and you have no job security." The man turns to an easel and says, "We'll begin by writing down all the things that 'ethical behavior' means to you." Alice says, "I've got a better idea: if you let us leave now, we'll give you high marks on the class evaluation." The man stands at the front of the room thinking. Wally hands the man his evaluation and says, "Good job. You touched me." The man replies, "You wish."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blood suckers, #coworkers, #famous novelist, #lowly tech writer, #scathing email messages, #write a book, #write witty, #dogcart career counselor

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina the Tech Writer sits at a table with Dogbert. Tina says, "I'm a lowly technical writer now, but my goal is to become a famous novelist." Tina continues, "My plan is to write witty and scathing e-mail messages about co-workers until a publisher gives me an advance." Dogbert says, "They might expect you to write a book at some point." Tina yells, "Blood suckers!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hit market window, #ride market research, #technical testing, #overhead, #like a bird, #hit window

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, the Boss and Dilbert stand at a conference table looking at a document. The Boss says, "We'll have to eliminate a few steps in order to hit the market window." The Boss continues, "I think we can get rid of market research and technical testing. They're basically 'overhead.'" The Boss writes on the chart and says, "Gone! Now we'll hit the window!" Dilbert says, ". . . Like a bird."