Using Conference Room Comic Strips - Page 15

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

934 Results for Using Conference Room

View 141 - 150 results for using conference room comic strips. Discover the best "Using Conference Room" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #optimism, #telephones, #work ethic, #prodcutive, #conference call, #cubicla, #exhautisng

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You don't look productive. Wally: I'm on a conference call. Boss: Maybe you should be in your cubicle listening to it. Wally: Nah. They aren't saying anything important. Boss: Maybe they will. Wally: Optimism sounds exhausting.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #problem, #we don't know, #what we don't know, #common saying, #stole it, #dumbest converstion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The problem is that we don't know what we don't know. Coworker: You stole that saying from me. Dilbert: It's a common saying. I've been using it for years. Coworker: No, you stole it from me. Dilbert: This is officially the dumbest conversation I've ever had. Coworker: That's my other saying!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #work ethic, #huge losses, #stock up, #big raise, #similar system, #lowering expectations, #employee of the year, #job perfromance

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: We announced huge losses, but analysts thought it would be even worse, so our stock went up. I'm using a similar system to get a big raise. For years I've been lowering everyone's expectations of my performance. Next I'll... I made a phone call today. Boss: Employee of the year!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #environmental issues, #batteries discarded, #landfill, #janitor, #trash, #garbage, #recycle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: For environmental reasons, all used batteries must be discarded in the special receptacle in the break room. When it's full, the janitor will dump it into the regular trash and take it to the landfill. Dilbert: Maybe we could ask him not to. Boss: No one know what language he speaks.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #deception, #insincere compliments, #make likable, #didn't spill, #no change

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I read that using people's names and giving insincere compliments will make me likeable. Good job pouring that coffee, Wally. You didn't spill a drop. Wally: I don't feel any different. Dilbert: Maybe the problem is on your end.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cleaning, #engineers, #coal break room, #highest priority, #mold grow, #mutating bacteria, #rapidly eveolved, #sentient being, #fueled by lunch, #learned languages, #job in hr, #plans on firing, #inappropriate websites

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: You need to clean the break room refrigerator more often. Wally: We're engineers. We only do the highest priority tasks. Tina: Mold started to grow in there. Wally: That's no big deal. Tina: Bacteria caused the mold to mutate. Wally: So what? Tina: It rapidly evolved into a sentient being fueled by forgotten lunches. Then it learned language skills and got a job in Human Resources. It plans to frame you for viewing inappropriate websites at work and then fire you. Wally: This sort of thing usually works itself out.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #Men, #alpha dominence, #space, #room space, #topper, #puffer fish, #barely male, #glad, #inflate body

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Studies say I can increase my alpha dominance by using lots of space in the room. Topper: That's nothing. I can inflate my body like a puffer fish! Carol: At times like this, you must be glad you're barely male. Topper

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #power (social sciences), #slaves, #a-b testing, #manipulate humans, #orange button, #mindless puppets, #legality

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Buwhahaha! I'm using A-B testing to manipulate irrational humans! Bend to my will and choose the orange button, you mindless click-puppets! Dilbert: And this is legal? Dogbert: I own you now!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #stress, #10 thousand attendees, #don't be stressed, #nervous, #fall apart, #speech, #large audience

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, I want you to give a speech to ten thousand conference attendees. You'll be great. Don't get stressed. I said "don't."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #competition (psychology), #employees, #difficult coworkers, #methods against me, #need to know, #counter neasures, #learn tricks, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Can I sign up for a workshop on how to deal with difficult co-workers? People will be using those methods against me, and I need to know how to thwart their countermeasures. Boss: Will you leave my office if I say yes? Alice: Where did you learn that trick?!!