Badger For Answer Comic Strips - Page 15

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169 Results for Badger For Answer

View 141 - 150 results for badger for answer comic strips. Discover the best "Badger For Answer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Replaces Himself With Chatbot

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Wally Replaces Himself With Chatbot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #working from home, #work ethic, #technology, #bot

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Wally: I got approval to work from home. My chatbot will answer all of my emails and text messages. Dilbert: Chatbot answers would be useless. Wally: I hope so. Otherwise it wouldn't sound like me.

I Own You

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I Own You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #work ethic, #communication, #text, #control

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Boss: Why didn't you answer my text last night? Dilbert: Um... Boss: You have no social life, and you aren't dead, so there's no excuse. I own you! Dilbert: Whoever said honest is refreshing never heard any.

The Long Email

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The Long Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #laziness, #email, #tldr

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Boss: You never got back to me with your answer. Dilbert: Yes, I did. I spent three hours writing an email that tells you all you need to know. Boss: What did it say?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #communication, #response, #confusion, #honesty, #overshare

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Man: Did you see my email? Dilbert; Did you mean your two-page document that has about twelve questions for me sprinkled throughout? Man: Yes, that's the one. Why haven't you responded? Dilbert: It's hard to answer that question while being polite. Man: You can be honest. Dilbert: Your email was such a disorganized mess that I assumed everything you do is doomed to fail. I didn't want to waste half a day deciphering it just so I could be on the losing side. With you. Man: Next time, just say you were busy. Dilbert: And I was busy.

Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected

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Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting   Corrected - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #lying, #deadline, #boss, #executive

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CEO: Is the software finished as your boss promised me it would be? Dilbert: I forgot to go to the pre-meeting for this meeting, so I'll guess the answer is.. yes? CEO: Okay, keep up the good work! Dilbert: Thanks goodness he doesn't know what the truth even looks like.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friendship, #closeness, #favor, #benefit, #debate, #relationships

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Tina: Can you give me a ride to the airport on Saturday? Dilbert: My attorney will answer that question. Dogbert: The evidence will show that you are not the kind of friend who qualifies for airport rides. I will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you are what is called a "work friend." A background check with your family and acquaintances will show that you are unlikely to ever reciprocate. In short, there is no social or monetary reason for Dilbert to agree to your unreasonable request. Tina: Maybe he just wants to be nice. Dogbert: The evidence would suggest otherwise.

No Dumb Questions

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No Dumb Questions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #question, #answer, #binary, #coding, #technology

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Boss: I have a dumb question. Dilbert: There are no dumb questions. Boss: When you delete software, where do all the zeroes and ones go? Dilbert: I stand corrected.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surveillance, #spying, #technology, #lying, #caught, #busted, #guilt, #proof

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Dilbert: Why didn't you answer my email? Boss: I didn't get it. Dilbert: My lie-detector app detected stress in your voice. I checked your email history on the server, and it confirms you opened my email. Boss: That could have been a hacker with my password. Dilbert: I'm checking the security camera footage for your office at that time. And there you are opening my email. Now will you admit you got my email? Boss: I'm seriously considering it.

Value Of An Employee's Life

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Value Of An Employee's Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #ethics, #morals, #morality, #death, #damage, #value, #medical

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Dilbert: The proposed system would reduce accidental employee deaths by 20 percent. CEO: What is the ratio of the value of an employee's life compared to real people? Dilbert: I find your question disturbing. CEO: Just tell me the answer, halfling!

Deducing Rank

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Deducing Rank - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hierarchy, #rank, #marketing, #jargon, #lingo, #adspeak, #business

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Dilbert: I don't know how to answer your question because I got here late and I haven't deduced your rank in the company. Woman: I'm the new director of Marketing, so you need to pretend my question makes sense. Dilbert: Give me a minute to get into that mindset. Woman: Take your time.