Between Businesses Comic Strips - Page 15
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157 Results for Between Businesses
View 141 - 150 results for between businesses comic strips. Discover the best "Between Businesses" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 01,
2016
Brittle Phone Design
Tags #cell phone, #big business, #fragile, #iphone, #technology
Transcript
Boss: We made our new phone extra-brittle and gave it a sleek, but slippery case. Consumers will be forced to choose between an ugly protective cover or replacing the phone three times a year. Dilbert: Who would buy such a thing? Boss: We also made it addictive.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday September 23,
2016
Travelling Broadens Worldview
Tags #travel, #perspective, #view, #worldview
Transcript
Alice: I love travelling because it broadens my understanding of the world. Wally: I know what you mean. I just got a cubicle near the window and now I see the world as an alleyway between me and the parking garage. Alice: That's dumb. Wally: That's not what the alley people say.
Sunday November 27,
2016
Tags #logic, #reasoning, #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse, #chaos theory
Transcript
Woman: When will you finish the technical review? Wally: That will depend on a variety of unknowns. A lot can happen between now and whenever you imagine I might be done with it. No one knows the future. I'd be a liar if I said I did, and you don't want a co-worker who is a liar, do you? Or do you? Woman: Lying would be better than whatever this is. Wally: In that case, I'll have it tomorrow.
Wednesday January 04,
2017
Ruining Dilbert's Flow
Tags #stress, #deadline, #work load, #multitask, #compensation, #money
Transcript
Boss: I'm giving you another software project to work on at the same time as your main project. Dilbert: That will ruin my flow. It will take too long to reset my brain when I switch between projects. Boss: Have you tried working longer hours without extra pay? Dilbert: Yes I have!
Thursday August 17,
2017
Ideal Customer
Tags #market research, #sham, #yes-man, #demographics
Transcript
Dogbert: My research shows that your ideal customer is a male Olympic athlete between the ages of 120 and 145. And just to be safe, you want that guy to not have a Yelp account. Boss: How many people are in that group? Dogbert: None, but my research will help you double that.
Thursday January 18,
2018
Data Encapsulation
Tags #inheritance polymorphism, #managing, #bullying, #data encapsulation
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you know the difference between data encapsulation and inheritance polymorphism? The boss: No. Dilbert: Then how can you manage someone who odes? The boss; Do you know the difference between managing and bullying? Dilbert: No. The Boss: Problem solved.
Saturday September 29,
2018
Fine Lines
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #line, #optimism, #idiocy, #cynicism, #realism, #will, #love, #dead, #working
Transcript
Dilbert: I've noticed there's a fine line between optimism and idiocy. Wally: There's also a fine line between cynicism and realism. Dilbert: I just lost my will to live. Wally: There's a fine line between dead and working.
Saturday October 20,
2018
When Will Ted By Done
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #test, #data, #ted, #working, #done, #range
Transcript
The Boss: When will I get the test data? Dilbert: I don't know Ted is working on that. The Boss: When do you think he will be done? Dilbert: I know. I'm not Ted. The Boss: Just give me a range. Dilbert: Between one day and seven-hundred years.
Wednesday February 27,
2019
Loss Of Libido
Tags #dating, #doctors, #marriage, #medicines, #relations between the sexes, #sex
Transcript
Man: My new meds totally eliminated my libido. But my doctor says I need them. Dilbert: Does your wife mind? Man: Not since she started dating my doctor.
Friday March 01,
2019
Being Like A Man
Tags #advertising, #business, #criticism, #men and women, #relations between the sexes, #sales
Transcript
Boss: Our new advertising campaign is "Don't be like men." The ad starts with a montage of bad male behavior, from mansplaining to genocide. Then we show our product. Alice: Did a woman come up with this campaign? Boss: Stop being like a man.