Bitter Worker Comic Strips - Page 15

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222 Results for Bitter Worker

View 141 - 150 results for bitter worker comic strips. Discover the best "Bitter Worker" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags economy, money, demand, orders, rejection

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Alice says, "The company cut my pay so I'm going to date a co-worker to make up the difference." Alice says, "From now on, one of you will be buying all of my meals and gifts." Wally says, "I'm oddly aroused by your offer." Alice says, "In that case it's not you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruel, employee, co-worker, complaining, annoyed, angry

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The boss says, "I hired an arrogant guy with a huge forehead. He's on your project." Dilbert says, "Great. Everything this guy says will seem more annoying than usual because of his huge forehead!" Man says, "I keep a wine glass with me at all times. I'm a foodie." Dilbert says, "Case in point!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags punishment, beard, mislead, book, worker, background check, innocent, screaming

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The Boss says, "Ted, I just got the results of your security clearance background check." The Boss says, "Homeland security ordered me to beat you to death with our emergency preparedness binder." Ted says, "But?.I haven't done anything wrong!" The Boss says, "I might have said some things about your new beard."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags agree, and solution, anger, appearance of differnce, clarity, comprehend both problem, experiencing an illusion, limits of comprehension, wrestling, defective brain

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Worker: I have to disagree with you , dilbert. Gilbert: Actually, you odnt disagree with me, Worker: I dont? Dilbert: No, You think you disagree with me, but your mistaken. Dilbert: You're simply experiencing an illusion caused by the limits of your comprehension. If you were able to fully comprehend both the problem and my recommendation solution, you would agree with me. Dilbert: So what appears to be a difference of opinion if just you wrestling with your own defective brain. Dilbert: There's no reason to get the rest of us involved in that mess. Have you ever noticed that clarity makes people angry?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags co worker, tired, dead, died, afterlife, zombie, alive again, pictures in heaven, eyes closed

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Topper Dilbert: I didn't get much sleep last night. Ted: That's nothing. I haven't slept in a month. Dilbert: Wouldn't that kill you? Ted: It did, but that's nothing. I spent a week in the afterlife, then I returned to this world as a zombie. I taught myself homeopathy and discovered a cure for zombies. Now I'm alive again. Please be done...Please be done...Please be done... I took pictures of heaven. Alice: Gaaa!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, worker, office, wrong path, precise verbal explanation, embarrassment of undoing, good plan, progress, mistreatment of workers, corrupt policices, bad boss

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The Boss: "Dilbert, I need you to do something, but I don't have time to fully explain it." "I'll give you just enough information to send you down the wrong path." "Later, after you do it wrong. I'll treat you like you're some sort of idiot." "Then I'll put you through the embarrassment of undoing everything you did." "This might not sound like a good plan to you." "But it takes the task off of my plate and puts it on yours." "That's called progress." Dilbert: "Today I helped make progress." Garbageman: "Better luck tomorrow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags powerpoint presentation, confused jumble, information, winos spittle, unsupported conclusions

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CO Worker: "Did you look at my powerpoint presentation?" Dilbert: "Yes, it's a confused jumble of useless information with a wino's spittle of unsupported conclusions." Coworker: "Wino's spittle?" Dilbert: "You heard me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marginally useful things, ageeing, say it a certain way, tone, beat up, ripped shirt, anger, repesct, high strung, co worker

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Alice: "You should check with Ted to see if he knows about this sort of thing." Dilbert: "I'll add that to my list of marginally useful things that other people have suggested I do." Dilbert: "Apparently, agreeing isn't enough. You also need to say it a certain way."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Dilbert, this is Amber Dextrous, your new co-worker." "Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you." "She's going for the hug." "Oh heck, I'll just go with the flow and for once not be the socially awkward one." "She wasn't going for the hug. She shakes with both hands." "She's the perfect employee. She can do two things at the same time!" "Human resources surgically separated the two sides of her brain so she can multitask." Two days later "I'm sorry to report that Amber drowned while trying to talk and drink water at the same time." "Human resources would like to see you after this meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags loopy, couldn't end story, vacation, cocnuts, rapped, round and hairy, coconut trees, brown, being chased, co worker

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"Introducing LOOPY The woman who couldn't end a story." "Did I tell you about my vacation?" Dilbert: UH- OH "We learned about coconuts." Dilbert: "I"m trapped." Loopy: "Coconuts are round and hairy, and they grow on trees." Dilbert: "Must escape." Loopy: "Coconut trees are found in many countries." Dilbert: "Must use my ejector seat." "FROOMP! HA HA!" "They're brown." "GAAA!!! She has a pursuit chair!!!" "I took lots of pictures." "Must...aim for traffic."