Bug Eyes Comic Strips - Page 15
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The boss approaches a worker who is sitting in front of her computer, arms outstretched and eyes fixed. The boss says, "Helen, I'm transferring you to the temporary zombie division." Pushing Helen along, the boss says, "You will be with other people who are planning weddings, raising babies and divorcing." Helen is amid other zombie like workers, all with outstretched arms. A worker says, "She took my dog." Helen says, "All the good places are booked."
Wally waves his hand in front of The Boss' blankly staring eyes and says to Dilbert, "He might be faking a coma to avoid work." Wally says to Dilbert, "The only way to find out is to punch him repeatedly." Dilbert says, "Maybe we should get Alice." Wally, bunching his fists, asks, "Do you remember if I'm right- or left-handed?"
The Boss comes into Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, we have a new corporate policy." The Boss continues, "And I quote..." The Boss begins reading, "'Initiate the description for the criteria of requirements...'" Alice looks on as the Boss continues, "'...By developing a framework for the application architecture...'" Alice's eyes begin to droop and she thinks, "So tired." The Boss continues, "'Consistent with the planning corridor specified in our strategic initiative..." Alice's head rests on the keyboard and she is asleep. The Boss says, "Did you get all that?" The Boss goes into Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, come here for a minute?" Wally goes into Alice's cubicle with the Boss and the Boss holds out a piece of paper and asks, "Read this and tell me if she's doing any of it right now."
The Boss ties a blindfold over Alice's eyes and says, "No one knows the secret location of the Management Training Facility." The Boss leads the blindfolded Alice as Alice says, "If no one knows where it is, how do we get there?" Alice is sitting blindfolded in a car. The Boss is sitting in the driver's seat, also blindfolded. The Boss says, "This part can get loud."
Caption reads: "Incredulous Ed." Alice approaches Ed and asks, "Ed, do you have the latest budget numbers?" Ed looks up at Alice, squinting his eyes and gesturing, "Budget??? What is a 'budget' and why on earth would I have one?" Alice replies, "Because you're the budget manager." Ed hands her a piece of paper and says, "Here you go."
Wally and Alice sit on either side of the Boss. Alice looks crazed and her eyes begin to twitch. The Boss says, "...And incrementally develop time-to-market benchmark framework..." Suddenly, Alice throws her arms up and screams out, "This meeting stole two hours of my life!!!" The Boss looks at her, then asks, "Did that help?" Alice, looking exhausted, replies, "Yeah, I'm good for another hour."
Dilbert sits at his computer as the Boss sits behind him saying, "It needs to be so easy that your mother could use it." Dilbert replies, "My mother isn't a moron. Maybe we could use your mother as the test." The Boss asks, "What makes you think my mother is a moron?" Dilbert says, "She fed you."
Dilbert is eating lunch with a female coworker. The coworker says, "Then I noticed that the circuit design looked like a bug. I was going to mention it but then I didn't." Dilbert exclaims, "I'm psychic!" Dilbert continues, "Unless you're saying out loud every thought that crosses your mind." The coworker gives the thumbs up and says, "It's called conversation."
Headline: Asok Works in H.R. Catbert says to Asok, "Asok I want you to handle all the harassment complaints." Asok records Wally's complaints. Wally says, "And as I left the room I could feel Alice's eyes checking out my caboose." Asok says, "So... you have psychic powers?" Wally responds, "My eyes are up here, pal."
Headline: In Elbonia. Two Elbonians point to a diagram. One says to Dilbert, "Our business plan was to sell mud to people who live in mud." The Elbonian continues, "Later we shrewdly expanded our offerings to include pet grooming and lingerie." The diagram is now a picture of lingerie. The Elbonian continues, "Frankly, I blame our ad agency for what happened next." He holds up a picture of a pig in lingerie.